the incident [as i call it now] happened. i made a post of it when i felt i wanted to share but i don't think i need [nor want] to re-write the whole thing. right now what's worrying me is that i've started thinking about sex again, having fantasies, heck, i've even played with myself. I had sex 3 months after it and i came--then i started crying and crying and crying and couldn't stop. What I hate right now is the guilt of wanting to enjoy sex again. I have met [and read about] women who went through the same incident as i did and were traumatised much more than myself. I'm not saying it didn't hit me over the head with a mallet, i'm worrying that i should be worried and thinking about it but i'm not. i've spoken it over with my mother, told her about my worrying and, well, wanting to have fun yet thinking i shouldn't because... i don't know.
i'm afraid it's not normal to want sex again, but i do! and i hate the fact that i do because i shouldn't.