Babe im glad you are starting to come around though it is slow recovery dont beat yourself up it was a traumatic incident and with time and being the great smart girl you are,theres nothing you cant achieve.That sick bastard doesnt deserve for your pain after this,he is unworthy to be the one that changed one great girl into one that feels guilt or anything other then happiness.Chin up your are gettin there,you will learn and grow from this.