Well I think I am generally similar to yourself in terms of the personality and politics I display to the world at large, but I differ in that I don't see a problem with my Dom proclivities fitting into that. For starters I believe that everyone has a 'dark side' (well I do at least) and that repressing it can just lead to trouble (see my signature) and that D/s play is a safe outlet for that. So yes, I think that an intelligent psychological analysis of an interest in submissive women could well conclude that it stems from a deep seated fear of women or something like that. However, it's vastly healthier to explore these aspects in the safe harbours of a consensual BDSM experience than, to use an extreme example, commit rape. And by exploring such feelings, one can often conquer and become more at home with them: my experience of play is that it is very much about learning to accept yourself for who you are.

Everyone has feelings and 'urges' they feel they shouldn't have. Without exception. But there's no need to beat oneself up about it.

Additionally, in my RL experiences, I have found it in fact to be a genuinely loving, affectionate and respectful experience between two people who want to explore those dark and hidden and nasty aspects of their personality. There is something about the shared broaching of taboo that brings partners intimately together.

So in my view actualising some of your fantasies may well allay some of your concerns.