Dirty Words

[damyanti]

Great topic, I think in part its due to the fact that we live in an age of individuality and self sufficiency...and it has been built into our communal conscience that individuality equals freedom and it must be preserved at all cost.

I think a lot of submissives, myself included, are intimidated and scared by such complete and utter surrender. Too many horror stories, too many trust issues. But I have never judged those who choose it as bdsm (slave) lifestyle, but rather when I say doormat I mean what good_girl said:

Just my thought but I had always perceived a doormat to be someone who accepts that which she doesn’t really want…not as in punishment for an indiscretion but in life in general, a person who is not willing to speak up or act when things aren’t right for her.

I am not much into humiliation, especially verbal and there is a level of freedom and independence I find almost unimaginable ever giving up. My problem is actually on the opposite side, and its the reason I am reevaluating wisdom of actively pursuing this,...I am "stronger" than most men who proclaim themselves dominant.

Apparently, the gift of submission isn't held in as high esteem as lifestylers would have one believe.

It seems to me, from my observations, that these dominant males seeking strong females don't want to be needed. They want her to take care of herself as well as him. She can be a CEO in the real world, but she's to be nothing more than a fetch-and-carry when she gets home.

Precisely, and I am coming to this from the opposite end...words "lazy boy" come to mind.

I am one of those "strong, independent, self-sufficient" types, (I still work on the go-getter part, lol). I am also submissive....but while I may be quiet and reserved, I am far from meek...and that tends to shock and baffle men up.

As you say they "feel it necessary to proclaim that they only seek those who have something besides themselves to bring to the table", but you have nothing to worry about,...most pretty soon discover it is just too much bother and that there are easier "doormat" fish to fry.

Since when did need become a dirty word?

True, I have had the same thought myself...it depends on your definition of need. Just because I don't need him, doesn't mean I don't need him.