Quote Originally Posted by Mastrovenice View Post
I like the idea of a mentor to help you, but also want to sound a note of reality. I believe that Doms and Subs each have a unique set of experiences and natural gifts that form who they are. It is very difficult to MAKE a Dom more commanding, harsh, controlling, loving, tender, sadistic, etc., just as it is equally hard to re-make a Sub's personality (or MAKE a vanilla lover suddenly kinky). The best approach if you are in a committed relationship is to find the edges of their limits and learn to play within them. If you discover it is not enough for you, or too much, you will need to find another to help you achieve your natural balance. Like any relationship, we should never expect to be able to change the person we are involved with. If we can nudge them, well call yourself lucky!
This is a good point. Watch out for mentors who'll try to mold, rather than guide. Healthy interaction with a mentor will include the mentor asking a lot of questions to explore what you two like/believe, not long-winded exposition on what you should.

The exception to this is technique, where, obviously, you want the more experienced person put some things as absolutes ("Do not leave your submissive hanging upside down while you go to the pub.").