Quote Originally Posted by J-Go View Post
[B]Since when did an extra effort to respect a relationship that is in place become sexist? How does sending a message to a partner saying “Hey I met your (insert title here) the other day, delightful person! She had many great things to say about you and I just wanted to introduce myself…” become belittling to a sub or anyone for that matter?

Allow me be clear as you do bring up a very good point of casual meetings. If I meet, let’s say a “person” for the sake of being inclusive in this discussion, in the chat room and introduce myself and even engage in some private chat, I’m probably not going to run to the “partner” and say “hey I talked to your partner is that OK”? What the content of the discussion is will direct that. If the conversation is benign in nature, simply getting to know someone, location family, interests that sort of stuff, I will treat that as a “meet and greet”. If I get to know them better, chat with them more I will introduce myself to their partner, one because I feel it a show of respect for the RELATIONSHIP, and two because I’d simply like to get to know them as well.
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Because before she is a (insert title here) she is a (insert name here). Its a power exchange she shares with her partner, not anyone else, so in that regard you being a Dom to me makes no more importance than saying you are straight. I guess the reason I couldn't take your statement at face value is because I value friendship and bond of trust very highly...and it did sound as if you were going behind subs back (because you didn't trust her to mention it on her own) to inform or ask permission from her Dom if you can be friends with his sub.

Personally, I don't think that a couple has to share all of their friends, I don't think its possible or healthy. And I draw the line where he gets to pick or screen or veto my friends.

If you want to meet your friends partner, then you ask her to introduce you. Going off behind her back and you two sorting it out on the level of higher authority, it changes your dynamic with her. To me your duty of friendship goes to the person you are friends with first, and their partner second. I notice, you didn't say nothing about your sub getting a phone call from the other dom in which he informs her of your friendship with his sub?
And what if your friend doesn't want you to be friends with her partner, because she thought she could confide in you without fear of things going back to him?

(of course when I say friendship, thats all I mean "vanilla" friendship)