And now that I have you nice and mellow, let me piss you off...

Damyanti, thanks for the reply.
I can’t really submit a post asking for peoples opinions and then be pissed when they give them now can I? Particularly from such an attractive intelligent source!

Am I the only who has an issue with this part? (not that that ever stopped me before, lol.)

Till now, you seem to be..*looks around*


It makes sense if what you are talking about involves cyber sex or meeting for the first time in r/l and thats worthy of respect. But if you mean just befriending a woman who happens to be a sub, that sounds sexist and chuvinistic. What if that sub is male? Or switch? Do you inform a sub when you befriend her dom?

Being a sub doesnt mean I am irresposible, immature, weak and or incapable of looking after myself. Or dishonest. Or that dom gets to pick my friends. [/QUOTE]

Let me start by restating that personally I don’t care what flavor the relationship is D/s s/D gay straight, as I posted I’m speaking from my perspective as a hetero Dom as that is the only one I can speak to with any real knowledge.

I guess I’m lost here. First off I’m not exactly sure what defines a sexist or chauvinist? Then again I live in the part of the world that coined the expression “The sun don’t shine on the same dogs ass every day” I still don’t know what the hell that means! I guess being a country boy I’m unclear as to what is sexist or chauvinistic about a simple show of respect. Now I possess testicles and admittedly need things spelled out clearly for me, but I don’t see how you can respect a woman on one hand and be sexist or chauvinistic on the other. Since when did an extra effort to respect a relationship that is in place become sexist? How does sending a message to a partner saying “Hey I met your (insert title here) the other day, delightful person! She had many great things to say about you and I just wanted to introduce myself…” become belittling to a sub or anyone for that matter?

Allow me be clear as you do bring up a very good point of casual meetings. If I meet, let’s say a “person” for the sake of being inclusive in this discussion, in the chat room and introduce myself and even engage in some private chat, I’m probably not going to run to the “partner” and say “hey I talked to your partner is that OK”? What the content of the discussion is will direct that. If the conversation is benign in nature, simply getting to know someone, location family, interests that sort of stuff, I will treat that as a “meet and greet”. If I get to know them better, chat with them more I will introduce myself to their partner, one because I feel it a show of respect for the RELATIONSHIP, and two because I’d simply like to get to know them as well.

Now there is a “whole other side to that dogs ass” as this has been my experience on this and other forums. As soon as anything sexual or play in nature is sent to me privately (suggestive notes, pictures, invites to play etc.) I’m contacting the partner and introducing myself as well as full disclosure to my partner. Now before we get all up in arms on a privacy issue, I’ve got no moral or evangelical need to “tell on” anyone, I simply believe the honorable thing to do is introducing myself. If someone wants to play, great! Let’s get all parties involved and show them the respect they deserve as our partners…there’s a concept!

Old School? Yes…Sexist? Please.