I am truly sorry for your experience layla, mine has been the same only from the opposite side. I cant even count how many times I was called a "bad mother" or "you are not a mother at all" by women who stay at home.
When you write things like this, and its a very simplified equation, it fills me with horror.
I do think that women should have a right to longer maternity leave - and ironically its something many feminist organizations are fighting for today - but most (sooner or later) like to get back to work.
There are many problems in our society, but they are not a blame of feminists.
As for our bdsm thing most of our "liberated" (lol) friends hardly even blinked, while those who live in a more traditional set up...lets just say we no longer see them or at least as little as possible.