I will make sure my owner finds this post so he can give you his thoughts boo, but i am going to post something he wrote in the abuse support thread on it as well, here is a link to that section if you would like to review the whole thing sometime:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=15730

And the section with his post I am talking about:

Kuskovian my Husband and Owner's words:

"As a dominate with a survivor of abuse in my care, I have found some ways work better than others, especially conserning BDS&M type activities.

I strongly reccomend you consult a professional therapist/nurse, and or Doctor for help.

I have found in helping Seri overcome/deal with some of her triggers that patience and understanding are "key".
First and foremost: I allways let her bring to the table any issue she wishs to have help with, as well as aide in planning the best theraputic solution senerio. This is nessesary for several reasons, she cannot be expected to have success unless she feels "ready" to deal with a paticular thing. In addition to which, letting her choose, helps reestablish self confidence and esteem allowing her to be in "control" of herself.

Sometimes the best thing is to just listen and not try to "fix" anything (which goes against my nature)and is often the hardest part of this for dominates.

Just being there to hold her when she needs it is one of the things she says have helped her the most.
She has often told me that her triggers haven't diminished; so much as the way she chooses to respond to them has changed over time.

I strongly recommend a "light" hand with any survivor when it comes to limit testing and "tasks" designed to help in dealing with a given trigger, as these emotive responses they experience are very very "real" for them.

For instance: as Seri has previously stated in this thread, it took six months of effort before she could leave the house by herself for a walk around the block in our neighborhood. A walk she took knowing I would be watching her from a distance, but a walk she had to physically take by herself. Baby steps, as well as, slow and steady support were the critical factors.

How you react to your submissive's needs is of paramont importance.

One of the worst things a dominate could do is take offence, find fault, critisize or punish in anyway thier submissive when she has bualked or didn't successfully complete an assigned task conserning her "triggers" or any other abuse related issue that is being dealt with.

Remember it took great courage for her to even bring the idea of "helping' her in the first place, respect that fact, don't demean her just when you are trying to help her. It was a success regardless of outcome, just for her to even try.

Be prepared for her to become very unsettled in her demeanor, especially when in the proccess of coping with certian things. She may lash out at you in an inapropriate manner, not because she wants too, so much as has too.

Physical, mental, spiritual, all aspects of one's being are affected by abuse. It doesn't matter what kind of abuse one has endured.

If anyone needs help conserning these matters feel free to contact us."

I am sure he will respond directly as soon as he is able sisa.
My prayers are with you, contact us directly via pm or on the abuse support thread you know have the link too or via the Abuse support Sacturary found by way of the social group part of your profile page.