I really need your help with this. I shared some feelings with my partner (not on my own impetus and not out of nowhere) that caused him to reconsider whether he feels comfortable continuing to dominate me. I am not entirely sure why - possibly he feels that I'm too fragile, although I don't think so; possibly the reality of my experiences and feelings, as opposed to a bdsm fantasy, interfered with his erotic response - I don't know. What I've been told is that if he would continue to dominate me these feelings and experiences would arise again and he is not sure how he would handle hearing about them. Now, I'm not even sure this is true, that the feelings would resurface. I have reason to believe that they would not. But, it doesn't matter. I can't be comfortable in any event if I believe that I would harm him with my feelings, whatever they might be.

I know that there are people on this site who have suffered enormously in their lives and in previous relationships, and I know that they are able to submit happily to a new partner. My question is for those partners - how do you feel dominating someone who has suffered a trauma, and how to you deal with your feelings?

Thank you. I really need this help.