It sounds like you need to have a discussion about expectations and limits.

If I tell a submissive: "You need to be home by 9:00 every day, but I can stay out as late as I want", it isn't necessarily hypocrisy -- it depends on the relationship and expectations: you'll be where I expect, when I expect and you'll wait patiently for me to arrive at my leisure. It's a legitimate exercise of dominance, provided that's the expectation.

BDSM relationships do have different standards for the dominant and submissive. How often, for instance, is there equity in orgasms?

This is something you need to discuss with him to ensure the two of you are compatible and have the same expectations.