Quote Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead View Post
BDSM as we know it today evolved from protocol established by what is commonly referred to as the Old Guard which consisted of gay World War II veterans. Until the Old Guard, S&M was practiced in private or in brothels. There was no established set of rules. The gay leathermen utilized their military experience and organized groups with dress codes and etiquette. It was all very formal and very ritualized. To join their clubs, you had to demonstrate a sincere interest in and a great deal of dedication to becoming involved in S&M, either as a top or a bottom. Tops and bottoms typically apprenticed to the more experienced players. Switches were not considered to be serious players because they lacked the dedication necessary to commit to either role.

Eventually, heterosexuals and lesbians got wind of the clubs and wanted to join in order to learn and participate. This generation is referred to as Old School. They changed some of the protocol to be less militant, but the clubs were still exclusive in that only "serious" people need apply. While the Old Guard was into "rough" sex, the AIDS epidemic necessitated safer play, so the motto "safe, sane, and consensual" was coined.

With the introduction of the Internet came an influx of new people from the mildly curious to the adventurous kinkster. Munches and clubs became all inclusive. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, people new to BDSM tend to believe that just because they are "kinky" they should be accepted. The acronym BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. There is such a wide variety of kink contained in those 4 small letters that being kinky isn't enough to bring a community together. That's why there tend to be subgroups for dominatrices, masters and slaves, Goreans, et al.

Just because someone decides you're incompatible because you label yourself a switch doesn't always mean they're insecure or closed minded. They just know what they want. I'm a switch who is mostly submissive, and I want my dominant to be only that. I don't want a switch for the same reason many don't. I need my dominant to be very...dominant. I don't want to switch with him because it would totally ruin the dynamic for me, and I don't want to share him with a dominatrix because I don't want anyone having that level of control and intimacy with my man. I also don't want to make him choose and risk being unfulfilled. As for myself, I can live with whatever boundaries are set for me, but there are many dominants who won't take the risk. The people who make comments about switches being "fake" are usually Old School style BDSMers or just repeating what they've always heard or believed out of ignorance. There isn't anything wrong with having one true way or being open minded as long as you aren't trying to shove your way down anybody else's throat, and that goes for all...poly, monog, bi, straight, gay, Old School, The Next Generation, etc.
Thank You so much for saying what so needed to be said sisa !!!!