I feel it has very little to do with the frequency of postings but more on the true character of the person. A person in any type of relationship needs to take time, "see" the person in many different lights and above all follow that inner voice. The biggest mistake I made and the most I was hurt was by ignoring that inner voice and trying to fit into what was expected. After blaming others I finally reached a point of taking much of the responsibility, in that I sensed long before that this was not a good fit. My Sarge pushes my limits, takes me though uncomfortable situations, pushes his sadistic and my masochistic limits, but is never anything but honorable. In that I mean that he shows and assumes responsibility and care in his actions and attitudes always. At the very start of our r/l relationship after knowing one another online, the honor of his true character was evident in how he treated all involved.

In looking for a bdsm relationship or any for that matter we should all be taking time. If one or more of the pair are not open to that, not open to sharing and educating each other, or should those lights and sirens go off...that is a good indication that this is not a good fit. There are ways through out time to see if someone is using many different aliases, or playing different rolls. I think to use the amount of time a person spends posting holds far less importance than in the content of the posts or more importantly the content of personal private correspondence. The intimacy of this type or again any type of relationship is only enhanced by open and in depth knowledge of your partner. In giving respect and trust expect the same in return. The title of Dom, Sir or Master does not release a person from the responsibility of their behavior anymore than the title of submissive, or slave releases a person from the responsibility of their behavior.

As in life there are unscrupulous people on all ends of the spectrum. Sometimes the most obvious red flag is the one we see flying in our own mind, and sadly too often look the other way.