how to spot an arsehole

[leah06]

You know, I do understand why people object to the Dom-with-a-harem. I do myself, for myself. I guess I just didn't see why this was a red flag of assholery. Some subs seem to be looking for this kind of arrangement, and God bless 'em, I say. After reading these posts, I guess I would say, an asshole of a Dom is anyone who tries to convince you that he meets your agenda but secretly doesn't. It's not the fact that he doesn't meet your agenda that makes him an asshole - that's how we spell it here, Pearlgem - it's that he hides or disguises it.

You want to be Girl Number Seven? Go for it. You want the one who's married/won't call you/bosses you around/won't let go - fine. But if that's not what you want, then keep your eyes and ears open to see if he's what he says he is. And actually, not to burst anyone's bubble, but that's really your responsibility, not his. You need to be sure that he's right for you, and you need to pay attention. Of course people shouldn't lie to each other, but lots of these problems arise not from lies but just from people not heeding the warnings.

IMHO.

[lucy]

Isn't exactly on-topic, but it's a sign you're talking with the wrong guy: If you're chatting with someone and you just know that he's at the same time having conversations with at least 3 other people.
Back when i still was interested a wee little tiny bit in getting to know Doms for more than just chatting, one even called me the wrong name once. Probably got all his chat-windows mixed up
At least i knew that i didn't need to bother with that guy anymore.

[Ozme52]

Isn't exactly on-topic, but it's a sign you're talking with the wrong guy: If you're chatting with someone and you just know that he's at the same time having conversations with at least 3 other people.
Back when i still was interested a wee little tiny bit in getting to know Doms for more than just chatting, one even called me the wrong name once. Probably got all his chat-windows mixed up
At least i knew that i didn't need to bother with that guy anymore.

I have no experience chatting with doms, but don't think subs don't do this and do it a lot. Only instead of talking to other doms, they chat it up among themselves.

So... I don't think this particular trait is an indicator of bad behavior as much as it's a sign of the times. People take cell calls at dinner functions, and have no qualms about interupting a face to face conversation to take a call.

But I do think, when flirting, one should have my full undivided attention... as I expect to have yours.