Quote Originally Posted by Pearlgem View Post
A sister thread to the one about arsehole Doms.

While a great many useful observations are being made about Doms who don't cut it, one thing that comes up time and again is that often subs 'ask for' the mistreatment they receive (not in a good way) because they are insufficiently careful, smart or restrained about linking up with a new Dom. They invest far too much of themselves far too quickly without really knowing (or caring that they don't know much about) the person they want to devote their submission to.

So my questions are these:

How can a sub help herself out of that spiral of disappointment with Doms when actually it's largely of her own making?

How do you spot a wannabe sub?

Especially for the Doms, what early signs warn you not to risk further involvement, or is a sub at your feet irresistible no matter the circumstances?

I'm presuming we'd be talking about on line, early stage relationships.
I am a firm believer in keeping email communications brief at the incept of online D/s courtings.. Even though Y/you hold out the best of hope that expectations will be met, I have found, (especially with male subs) they are less discriminate than I would prefer..

Seems like wanna-bes willl assume based upon the fact that both parties have the prescribed equipment, that everything will go exactly as it has in their fantasies..

And amusingly, when I ask for details on their ideal scene, cistern-worthy subs with use phrases like, "do things to me".. And I laugh.. "Things", huh..?

The above is My experience from earlier today in regard to professional sessions I am currently attempting to arrange..

Also, I find rubbish-subs will attempt to get as much sexually charged banter out of Me, asap.. They have no serious intentions aside from rubbing one out while reading My online missives, trying not to wake their old-lady who's asleep in the next room..

subs, be reluctant to send your photo out until at least the 2nd letter.. And NEVER send a classy Domme a nude or cock picture.. Though this may border on sexist, I never mind nude photos of female subs (unless it's a gratuitous beaver shot..)

My experience has taught Me to doubt everyone until they have proven themselves.. Never send pics in the 1st missive..

Hope that helps..