Topping from the Bottom?

[leo9]

There are a couple of recent threads about how to say no during a scene. This is not a big problem for me. Sometimes, though, I wish I could express a preference or ask to do something in a different way, and it's hard to figure out how to do it without seeming to top from the bottom.

Saying no is what the safeword "yellow" or "amber" is for. As in, "this isn't an emergency, but it's not working for me."

As for expressing a preference, my late slave-wife would have said things like "It'd be horrible if you twisted those clamps as well as pull them," or "I couldn't bear it if you used the cane instead of the flogger" - what we called "briar-patch suggestions," as in "don't throw me in the..."

[BryansGrrrl]

As for expressing a preference, my late slave-wife would have said things like "It'd be horrible if you twisted those clamps as well as pull them," or "I couldn't bear it if you used the cane instead of the flogger" - what we called "briar-patch suggestions," as in "don't throw me in the..."

I just LOVE Uncle Remus. And this is a great suggestion!

The hardest thing to teach my slaves is that keeping information from me - about their feelings, about their needs - is disobedience. A good slave tells hir Master the things he needs to know to get the best from hir.

This really is a difficult thing. I still have difficulty in denying Him something that I even suspect that He might want. If I am not interested in pursuing something... I sort of wait to see what He feels about it before voicing my own opinion. It is a very bad habit that I'm trying very hard to break myself of.

[leo9]

This really is a difficult thing. I still have difficulty in denying Him something that I even suspect that He might want. If I am not interested in pursuing something... I sort of wait to see what He feels about it before voicing my own opinion. It is a very bad habit that I'm trying very hard to break myself of.

Like I said, think of it as service. Being honest and open about your feelings - even the negative ones - is another way of making yourself available to your Master. You wouldn't hide your body from Him: don't hide your mind either.

Look at it this way: saying "This doesn't work for me" isn't telling Him not to do it. He might even take it as an encouragement to do it more, just to be cruel The important thing is to tell Him what's really going on.