There are a couple of recent threads about how to say no during a scene. This is not a big problem for me. Sometimes, though, I wish I could express a preference or ask to do something in a different way, and it's hard to figure out how to do it without seeming to top from the bottom. I've refused to do something at times rather than trying to modify it, which brings up another famous bdsm phrase - cutting off your nose to spite your face. Ooh, sexy. I wish some of the Dom/mes here had some advice about how to ask to do something differently, or less or whatever, without seeming like you're trying to control the scene. I mean, I guess in a certain way you are, but if it's the difference between doing something or not even trying it, maybe it would be nice to have a way to express that.