i was sexually abused as a child as well. that must have played a huge part in me being a sub and such a sexual masochist. for me it's almost like, without the fear, or without the pain there is no feeling to sex--to be able to trust someone enough to not push that fear too far, to hurt but not injur is everything for me.

for me, i don't think that could have come from anywhere but my childhood trauma.

if you want to talk about it, pm me.