True Control

[DJade]

It's not my dominant side that provided me with a rather healthy ego, but my intelligence. The fact that I am (almost) right all the time. There's a cute little saying about that. "For a minute, I was panicking because I thought I made a mistake, but it seems I was wrong..."

And there's way too many people who still confuse lust with love.

Also, a lot of so-called dominants, especially those with a sadistic streak, are in fact frustrated wimps who need someone to vent those frustrations on.

The above is not rule of course, I don't want to generalize things, but take a look at folks who join the police force, for example. They can be devided in two general classes. The idealists who join for a good cause and the tits who were bullied at school and want to get even with the world.

A lot of those operette 'dominants' just want to get even with someone. Anyone. Those people are dangerous and will take advantage of you, because they have a complete disregard of others.

Then, there's also the environment in which you move. Let me give you a very extreem example.

In the village of Dachau during the second world war, people were recruted to perform duties as guards in the concentration camp of the same name. Those people were nice, friendly folk, who never did anybody any harm.

From one day to the other, they became vicious sadists with a complete disregard of humanity towards the prisoners. Why?

Because they had moved into a miniature society in which such things as torturing and killing were the norm.

If everybody in that environment says that the prisoners aren't human, then it's okay to treat them accordingly. And people do, because there's no moral resistance any more. Because the morals have shifted.

Like I said, an extreme example. But the same goes for our society. Why do some cops do what they do? Because they are moving inside an environment that tolerates such behaviour. They are in a position of authority and usually no-one questions that authority. Because everybody in that environment lives according to the same set of rules, values and morals.

The same could be true for some BDSM clubs. If members don't keep themselves and each other in check, things can get out of hand, because of the position of authority of the dominants. The mental position of the submissives makes them, well, submit, because that is what a submissive does, or someone who has been conditioned to act as a submissive. Again, look at concentration camps. Prisoners outnumbered guards over ten to one. But prisoners were already conditioned to act inside the rules of the environment and didn't protest.

Besides, we all know that power is intoxicating. It corrupts. So, as a result people need to watch each other and intervene when things might get out of hand. Sometimes, that is far from easy.


JJ

Well said, Jimmy. I am dominant by nature and this dominance exists in conjunction with all of my other character traits. I, like you, am a realist. I agree there are indeed a lot of misguided "dominants" out there, people who are not, in my view, qualified to dominate at all. But as you imply, it does not stop them from manipulating the submissive traits of others. It is good for all of us to be aware of these people so that we can do what we are able to thwart them. An endeavor, as you said, that is not easy. But perhaps more importantly, at least for me, it is wise to realize that the forces of the power you speak of are quite capable of corrupting even the best of us. Hence the lessons I have developed for my subs pertaining to all topics that fall under the umbrella of integrity, a few of which are control, focus, discipline, respect, trust and safety. Perhaps you felt my original post was too sweet or preachy. Quite the contrary. Maybe I originally wrote it for me, for I admit I am a control freak. I have to keep myself in check somehow! Lol Again, thanks for your views. Regards, D'Jade