Who has the most power?

[Ozme52]

Summed up very well.heheh I think that if one is submissive, having the power, whether implied or overt, is uncomfortable. Can I, as a submissive, safeword? Yes I can. Is that a guarantee that the scene will end immediately? No it isn't. I dwooton't throw around safewords just because I'm not deliriously happy with what's going on. It's not me. When I submit, I submit to whatever is happening unless it's going to cause serious harm. Then I safeword, we talk, and my Owner decides if it continues or ends.

Here's how I look at it, in a D/snice and warm... relationship. A Dom and sub talk. The sub tells the Dom his/her hard limits and soft limits. These conversations need to be thorough and can be ongoing as the relationship progresses. Once the initial negotiation is complete, the Dom is then "in charge". In other words, my limits, His limits....act as boundaries of a world. Once those boundaries are established, what happens inside them is up to Him. I have agreed to that as His submissive...and in fact, need to know that I am no longer in control.

When we need to talk as one person to another, we do so outside that world. This can be difficult to do...and once done, difficult to go back. It requires a real commitment on theahhhhhhhhhh part of both Dom and sub to do so.

Sorry for the interuption.... back to the actual conversation.