i have been in a long term relationship and my partner is very vanilla. I have mentioned repeatedly that i would like to be his slave etc. However at most i get a very tame'scene' every now and then but only if i 'top from the bottom' which i hate doing. I have shown him websites and stories etc and he does seem to enjoy what happens at the time, but it is never at his instigation. How can i get him to really take the reins without either nagging or topping from below?