Hello Subkitty,

I am also in a long-distance online D/s relationship. Like you, my mind easily goes to the worst possible place sometimes and the emotions can be overwhelming.

I can understand why you were so hurt. If my partner had confessed the same thing, I also would have felt sad as well. I completely understand why you felt the way you did: If he had four subs at once in the past, how do I know that I will not become just one of many?

In addition to everyone's advice to communicate with him first, I have a tiny bit of advice that has worked very well for me. There are advantages to not being face-to-face. You have time to process any feelings before you react to them. It is so hard to do in the moment, but ask yourself "why did that comment hurt/anger me?" Once you answer that, you are able to respond: 'that comment hurt, because it seems you meant...."

You may be surprised at the response you get, and it may facilitate trusting communication.

Good luck to you.