How to be safe?

[thir]

Not unwise... but rarely satisfying imo.

That was what I meant. You can get lucky, as OP was, but it is not likely. That doesn't mean a person cannot try, of course. A number of people report bringing the bdsm need up with no bad responses, but in some cases you do get rather bad responses. I guess that depends on your luck, and perhaps where you live. It can be tough, especially if you by now have feelings involved, and also connects with the privacy issue; normally people are more discreet who also need discretion themselves.

My primary thought in this is that if you look among non-bdsm people, do not wait until you have fallen in love to bring this issue up. You may end up having to choose between love and bdsm, which is kind of like choosing between eating or drinking as I see it.