When someone has second thoughts after the fact

[DowntownAmber]

The likelihood of an emotional or personality disorder certainly seems high with this girl. I would guess that's the culprit behind her 180 degree turnaround, but with that already having been covered by numerous other posters, let me also throw out there that the folks in a newbie play partner's immediate circle are often as a big a factor as the new partner themselves.

How many of us have ever spoken about something pleasurable and exciting to us with another only to have our confidant look at us as if we had tipped off into the deep end? Someone fresh from the emotion of scening could very well enthusiastically share with another, only to have that other condemn the activity, BDSM as a whole, or the person themselves for even participating. The pleasure of vulnerability can warp to shame and anger pretty quickly at times, especially for those still finding their footing. A new sub or bottom can wonder if there is really something wrong with them for having reacted favorably to what a friend just put down, and now they're blaming the Dom/me or top or whatever.

I think that it's also a good idea to talk about that aspect of of scene - the perception and the delicacies of sharing with others.

[skittish doe]

The pleasure of vulnerability can warp to shame and anger pretty quickly at times, especially for those still finding their footing. A new sub or bottom can wonder if there is really something wrong with them (...)
I think that it's also a good idea to talk about that aspect of of scene - the perception and the delicacies of sharing with others.

You make such a good point here. I thank you for pointing this out.

[flying66]

I figure I'd update this here.

I saw her on the bus recently (let's call her H), I didn't go up and talk to her or anything, just sat down with my book and pretended not to see her and I think she scrambled to hide from me in the back... no worries sweetcakes, there's no WAY I'm going to voluntarily speak with you again!

Though I was talking with a photographer friend of mine to warn her about being VERY CLEAR about the outlines of her future shoots with H... and this photographer has actually shot with H recently and H mentioned us during their shoot and it wasn't anything bad. Apparently she said "did you know that flying and ___ are sexual" or something like that.

We live in a small city, most of the models, actors, photographers etc. know everyone else by at least reputation so people try to be very professional and don't like to talk down other models and photogs. I know for sure H has NO problems with gossiping and saying bad things about others so I figure if she has something to complain about, she'd complain about it.

Someone said that would happen... that bipolar and/or borderline people often say horrible things then come back a few weeks later and wonder why you're apprehensive.

@DowntownAmber and Master_Nova I try to keep things confidential, but when shit hits the fan like this I have to talk to someone about it (I'm a girl! I need to lol)... with my local community about this 'really REALLY bad experience I just had' she's not part of the local group (hadn't even heard of us before... my partner says he's never playing with ppl outside the group ever again) and warn friends who who may work with her in the future (though they didn't need me to say anything to know to tread carefully with this girl... I really should try to be discerning of ppl)

@Thir she hasn't said anything back to my partner since her original rants... since I stopped trying to get a hold of her she seems to have run out of steam. I just ignored her last few messages and she hasn't tried to contact me since.