Kinky Sex Turns Deadly

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I saw this news story on another forum that I visit. Here is the link:

http://www.wsmv.com/news/15943624/detail.html

When I first read this, I just couldn't believe. This woman obviously was not a Domme, but most likely either someone who thought she was or was just a clueless wannabe who thought it would be cool to torture her husband. Stories like this are what give BDSM such a bad name. There is a little new video clip on the right hand side of the story.

Thoughts, people?

[_ID_]

Hopefully she doesn't get to contribute to the gene pool.

[His_blizzard]

One of any good Dom/Dommes hard and fast rules is to never ever bind and gag a sub, or leave a sub in any way that they can't escape the bindings, unless they are near by to monitor the submissive at all times. Master taught me this at the very beginning of our union. Either this was some newbie BDSM play gone horribly wrong., or it was in fact intentional murder Very. very sad. Imagine the horror this man felt as he lay dying with no one to come and save him....

[gagged_Louise]

Yup I know similar cases where it's gone fatally wrong - there was one in Stockholm a few years back where a man had been doing some s/m play together with a girl he'd seen a few times before. He was submissive and allowed himself to be tied to a chair, hands cuffed behind and then she would Domme him. Probably the idea was humiliation through words and some slight spanking but they were both quite a bit drunk and it spiralled out of control; she fetched two big knives and stabbed him in the chest, and then tried to cover her tracks by arranging a fire in the apartment. She ended up with a lifetime jail sentence for murder.

Also, it's really important to see that what's "possible" in a story is often way beyond what works in reality. In an abduction story a sub can hang by her wrists for days, her mouth stuffed with a gag, and take masses of flogging. Umm, wouldn't work too good in real life...

[Tufty]

.....but they were both quite a bit drunk and it spiralled out of control......

Also, it's really important to see that what's "possible" in a story is often way beyond what works in reality. In an abduction story a sub can hang by her wrists for days, her mouth stuffed with a gag, and take masses of flogging. Umm, wouldn't work too good in real life...

Both a bit drunk??? Hardly 'safe and sane' is it?? The other sad thing is that there are some people who can't differentiate between fantasy and reality. As Louise says, you can do things in a story that could have fatal consequences in r/l

[Hime]

Yup I know similar cases where it's gone fatally wrong - there was one in Stockholm a few years back where a man had been doing some s/m play together ioth a girl he'd seen a few times before. He was submissive and allowed himself to be tied to a chair, hands cuffed behind and then she would Domme him. Probably the idea was humiliation through words and some slight spanking but they were both quite a bit drunk and it spiralled out of control; she fetched two big knives and stabbed him in the chest, and then tried to cover her tracks by arranging a fire in the apartment. She ended up with a lifetime jail sentence for murder.

Also, it's really important to see that what's "possible" in a story is often way beyond what works in reality. In an abduction story a sub can hang by her wrists for days, her mouth stuffed with a gag, and take masses of flogging. Umm, wouldn't work too good in real life...

I find it really hard to believe that this happened by accident, honestly. I mean, stabbed him in the chest?

[gagged_Louise]

I find it really hard to believe that this happened by accident, honestly. I mean, stabbed him in the chest?

Yes, I don't recall if that girl was an escort or just someone he vaguely knew - he had been exploring the kinky world a bit. A neighbour heard him scream "No -(the woman's name) --no, don't do that!" and then some loud howls, and it turned out she had also taken his wallet after he died.
At the trial she said a Mr X had entered the place while she was making coffee, he'd have stabbed him and set fire to the place and then left again - obviously the court didn't believe that story (her fingerprints were on the bloodied knife, but no one else's) Now, as she took the wallet it could be seen as robbery & murder, but it's hard to say if it might have happend had she not been drunk too.

[Alex Bragi]

I find it really hard to believe that this happened by accident, honestly. I mean, stabbed him in the chest?

Yes, my thoughts exactly.

The case sisterhoney has cited reads to me like pure ignorance or possibly something much worse. I mean what sane person would bind another person up like that then leave them?

[icey]

I find it really hard to believe that this happened by accident, honestly. I mean, stabbed him in the chest?

i had exactly the same thought, i dont believe for 1 minute anyone doing this simply for sexual fun would leave someone alone for 20 hrs.

anyone into bondage for a bit of kink in the bedroom wouldnt go to that extreme they're in it simply for the fun at that time and 9 times out of 10 they wouldnt even know how to go that far, and anyone who's more advanced knows not even to go there!

someone who's already experienced or has researched thoroughly knows exactly what they're doing and the most likely outcome.

im with ashtonDS and believe that people come forward and that education of some description for the general public is needed, not practical education ie shibari lessons or use a gag correctly, but in a way that shows we are responsible are aware of the risks, dont take stupid risks take all precautions seriously etc and that idiots like that are not even a part of the BDSM community/lifestyle and that we totally oppose and condone such practises and people and do our best to educate and help each other.

although thats sometimes a misnomer in itsself, it tends to get twisted by joe public and we're criticised for 'encouraging' wickedness,sin dragging others into our depravity and the like lol

im not putting across what im trying to say too well lol

[gagged_Louise]

The trial of that case in Stockholm was a memorable one; a pro Domme actually took the stand as an expert witness.

By the way, this thread picks up on something vital if you're arranging to see a Dominant you haven't met in the flesh before and do some kinky bondage stuff, especially if it's not in your home town - setting up a line of help/control to make sure you don't just disappear into a black hole.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1162

[_ID_]

I remember the stabbing story as well. Louise remembers it pretty much how I remember it.

[Euryleia]

20 hours is a long time to leave anyone alone, much less bound so tightly they couldn't move and wrapped in duct tape and ace bandages. Simply unreal.

[Mr.FixIt]

THIS IS NOT an example of BDSM! This is a vanilla husband and wife. We do not know the whole story here. Did the hubby fool around on her? Why would she be provoked to do such a thing? Not that any explanation would matter, or justify such acts. But, those of us who take the lifestyle seriously would never, NEVER, consider such an act. This was a woman who was dis-honored in such a way that she felt no other recourse would be sufficient. She read the Oprah book of the month "The Story of O" (maybe) and staged the whole damn thing. She's guilty--it was no accident. PERIOD. He must have been guilty of something, though. She left him in a state of humiliation--he must have humilated her at some point--probably pretty badly. I don't mean to justify what she has done here. The negative media attention to the BDSM community will be long-lasting--as it always is.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"...

...in my humble opinion.

[fetishdj]

There was a similar case not so long ago of a pro Domme who left a client tied in suspension alone (it was his fantasy to be left alone- he requested it but that is no excuse) and gagged and he suffocated. Big argument on one list I am on as to whether this was the fault of the Domme or whether anything could have been done. My argument was to apply a little common sense - she could have still monitored him without him knowing that he was being monitored thereby maintaining the fantasy.

It did bring up a lot of issues around consent and whether you should do something inherently unsafe just because someone requests it. And, of course, according to most legal systems I have been told about , it is impossible to legally consent to anything that will do you harm (surgery being an odd exception here gained because it ultimately has an overt benefit). So, even if you say to someone 'beat me within an inch of my life and I don't mind if you kill me' and sign a contract/consent form to that effect and you do die the person who did it is still guilty of murder.

[Mr.FixIt]

Who'd have thought this would happen, PRO DOM? We've gone round and rond in other threads, BUT I AGREEE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ashtonDs]

Stories like this are what give BDSM such a bad name.

I seem to remember a case recently where a Dom left a sub tied up in a closet overnight. He had a mask on the guy and I think he wrapped his head in plastic, leaving him a little tube to breath through. The tube came out of his mouth and he suffocated.

In court the Dom's defense was that this (bdsm) is a dangerous activity and anyone who comes to him knows that and ultimately is responsible for his own safety. He expected the community to come to court and defend him.

They did come to court, but not for the reason he hoped for. A pro Dom testified that he had gone too far. That the safety of the sub is the most important rule in bdsm. Several of this clown's former victims (oops clients...well, maybe I was right the first time) came to testify that he has a reputation for reckless behavior, including ignoring safewords. I think he'll be in jail for a long time.

One thing that will help to counter bdsm's "bad name" is for people to come forward when stuff like this happens and speak up.

If I remember the story correctly, there were folks in the community who wanted the Dom who testified to keep quiet and lay low, hoping the whole thing would blow over and be forgotten.

It won't. The only way to be sure that the public has the right impression of this lifestyle is to speak up.

[bellelapine]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080516/...4.0.k4z_8SH9EA


Here's another recent case of play gone stupid. I seriously think in some cases that's the only word you can use to describe it. DON'T PLAY DRUNK! Why is that so hard to concieve?