Feedback: Rebecca's Revenge

[Mad Lews]

I've just finished, well, just about finished a new story. I realise it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea--it's about priest who has his penis hacked off by a woman he's molested as a child, but I wanted to write something different. Please, if you're a theist, or more particularly a Christian, don't get offended just back click now.

I've been over it, but I particularly need to know if I've missed any typos, spelling or grammar mistakes, and if the punctuation is correct. I've chosen to write it back to front, so is easy enough to follow? Does it all make sense? Are you able to envisage what's happening? And, most important of all, to me, if you weren't reading it for the specific purpose of giving feedback, would you have still read it all?

Thank you in advance,

Alex

Wow Alex ,
You sure go for the power play on this one. Yeah picking on pedophile priests is a bit like taking pot shots at fish in a barrel but you manage to bring some stark and vulgar life into the story. I know EB has filled you in on every typo and nuance and I'll never be able to compete with that but just a heads up. You can white wash a number of grammar Faux Pas by including them within a quote. Just be consistent and keep those grammatical idiosyncrasies to a character's "Voice". The sad truth is most of us don't speak with perfect grammar and diction and there's no reason your characters should either. Makes them more memorable if they have a few linguistic quirks. Just don't overdo it.
The story itself; yes I'd read it more out of morbid curiosity than any real driving interest. As I may have mentioned, I was raised in the wild by Jesuits, so I might be a little prejudice. Not my cup of tea but a powerful tale none the less.

First, the technical stuff. Don't be too overwhelmed -- I'm bored and a literature geek, a bad combo. And as always, feel free to ignore anything I suggest, my ego is far too hefty to be impacted

Damn Electric Badger,
Now I've got a bad case of 'Proof Reader Envy'.
Do you get bored often?
Can I send you a couple chapters?
Could I handle it?
Mad Lews