I found this thread really interesting, because D and I were talking about this just last night. He was teasing me and said "But of course, you aren't really submissive." I said "what do you mean, of course I am!" and he said that he thinks that I am naturally submissive, but I still struggle with it all the time.

Personally, I don't mind the struggle. Sometimes it is frustrating when one impulse tells me to obey and another impulse tells me to fight, but giving in to my Master doesn't mean that I want to give up my whole personality. I think that I've earned my admittedly large ego through years of being way too tough on myself, and this relationship is the first time when I've even begun to accept myself for the messy but endearing pile of contradictions that I am. Being with D makes me feel like it's okay for me to be stubborn and arrogant sometimes, but it's still okay to be vulnerable and need taking care of as well. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I don't really need to "move further" than that. There's nothing wrong with complicated women.