Quote Originally Posted by Isabelle90 View Post
Many have said that a D/s relationship is one of honesty and respect. If someone is in a D/s relationship outside of a marriage, presumably vanilla, how can either of them (D/s couple) know that the other is being honest?

When is it "okay" to have a relationship outside of marriage? If someone realizes they are dominant or submissive but their spouse is neither, is it appropriate to start a new relationship with someone that is in the lifestyle?

It seems, to me, that this is not an uncommon practice, and I was curious as to what others thought of the matter.

Personally, I am a more "concrete" person. That is, grasping my mind around an online relationship is much like reading something by Stephen Hawking. It takes some time for it to sink in. I need to see, touch, taste, smell, and hear. I don't possess the sixth sense. "Abstract" does not really appeal to me as much. Ye of little faith and all that?
Isabelle I Agree with Your last paragraph largely. And the "need to see, touch, taste, smell"...though I do also have that 6th sense <G>. Online relating *to me* is not my Real Life. I do think online Roleplay is fun, and sometimes interesting, and online Friend(s) are fine. I in fact posted a topic this morning with questions to Other(s) about online Relating perspectives.

To Your question; " If someone is in a D/s relationship outside of a marriage, presumably vanilla, how can either of them (D/s couple) know that the other is being honest?"

I would say there's no way to Know Truly. If someone You know or are close to is lying to or cheating on someone they know or close to/Committed to, whatever would allow one to even think they won't have a go at that same situation with that person? I personally think a person is only as good as their word. If one wishes to Change their Agreements with their Partner(s), then the appropriate action would be to Re-Negotiate (if possible) or end the Relationship. Anyone can make any excuse for not keeping their Agreements with Other(s), but the bottom line *to me* is that one who does not keep their word, re-negotiate, or end what isn't working for them, has no guts to Live their Life, nor Honor. This is just my opinion, noone elses, and my response.

To Your Question; "When is it "okay" to have a relationship outside of marriage?".

I would say when it has been discussed and Agreed to, or Re-negotiated.
And again this is just my thoughts and opinion on the matter.

To the 2nd part of Your above question; "If someone realizes they are dominant or submissive but their spouse is neither, is it appropriate to start a new relationship with someone that is in the lifestyle?"

I think this depends on the terms of ones Agreement(s) with their Partner(s). Whatever ones Agreements are, they should be Honored and complied with, re-negotiated, or ended.

Respectfully~SidheWolf