Why is it cool to be a bi girl

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

After various conversations over the last few days with friends of mine, Ive been pondering the following.

Why do bi girls (the majority) flaunt it like it's cool, as if it makes them more special.
A girl I know is very proud from having slept with what she claims to be most of the girls she knows in the scene in her hometown.
If I were to knock that on its head and be proud of sleeping with all the males in my hometown... not so cool but slutty.

Also, why do so many girls in the scene claim to be bi, I understand that scene folk are more open minded and open to more experiences but I have yet to meet a female submissive that is not bisexual, I find this hard to believe.
(there is also not the same amount of male bi sexuals in the scene either.)

To the lazywebs I ask... why is it so cool to be bisexual?

[claire]

Well, speaking only for myself of course, I am a sub, and I am not bisexual. However, my Dom is.

[Arria]

Hm, I´d think men find it nice because they like to watch it... why it should be cool among the ladies, I do not know.

I´m only half bi, I only like the upper half of women...

But I basically believe everyone is basically bi, otherwise cultures like the ancient Greek could not have been established.

As for the male bi crowd: For some reason admitting to being bi brings worse prejudice/disapproval to men than it does to women, at least in our culture. So I don´t think every man who is bi will walk around and proclaim it.

[denuseri]

idk ive never really thought about it, i started off in highschool dating boys but my first sexual encounter was with another girl, i guess i was just born liking both

[Euryleia]

Because being a lesbian is the pinacle of human achievement and all those curious girls just want to be connected to our fabulousness.


Seriously, though, it is a fact that a number of heterosexual males find the idea of two women together sexually very, very appealling. Therefore, plenty of submissive women will open themselves up to lesbian play because their Dominant wants it that way.

[gemmy]

^^^^^ hehehe of course

I don't know if it's a matter of cool or not and I don't think people come out as bi just for the sake of being cool - If you are great, if you aren't great too lol

"...Why do bi girls (the majority) flaunt it like it's cool, as if it makes them more special..."

I would hardly say the majority flaunt it. But if asked, I answer honestly, not because I wish to flaunt it but because I'm asked simply.

Your post sounds like you've taken it as a slight against you for not being bi-sexual. Words like why do they claim to be. I would say because they are? lol

Again, if you're not, cool - it's not a big deal either way I don't think. I don't claim to be, I know I have no issues being sexual with another woman (and have been with women far before I knew about BDSM) but that woman has to also appeal to me chemistry wise, the same as a man does Not just any gurl for this gurl hehe

P.S.: Depends on who you're meeting I suppose, as I've met MANY who aren't

[MissElizabeth87]

As far as I know, most of the girls I know aren't actually bi, they're just open to the idea of being with a woman in some form or another. I've heard the term "heteroflexible" used... and that's how I think of myself. I mean, I've never actually sexually been with a woman, but as that's the case, I don't know if I'd like it or not. There are some women I am attracted to, so I don't think I'd hate it.

But, claiming to be bi, or kissing other girls and such, is supposedly a great way to get a guy's attention. I think it's retarded, because then the girl doesn't matter... But whatever.

[good_girl]

Seriously, though, it is a fact that a number of heterosexual males find the idea of two women together sexually very, very appealling. Therefore, plenty of submissive women will open themselves up to lesbian play because their Dominant wants it that way.

My thought exactly...to add to that, don't many of us flaunt what will we have that will get us the attention we want, this is what they have, they flaunt it.

[gemmy]

As far as I know, most of the girls I know aren't actually bi, they're just open to the idea of being with a woman in some form or another. I've heard the term "heteroflexible" used... and that's how I think of myself. I mean, I've never actually sexually been with a woman, but as that's the case, I don't know if I'd like it or not. There are some women I am attracted to, so I don't think I'd hate it.

But, claiming to be bi, or kissing other girls and such, is supposedly a great way to get a guy's attention. I think it's retarded, because then the girl doesn't matter... But whatever.

Oh, I like that word

[MissElizabeth87]

Oh, I like that word

hehe. me too.

[Kuskovian]

Please continue I am finding this debate rather stimulating. LOL.

[cadence]

I´m only half bi, I only like the upper half of women...

Lol, I never thought of being half bi, but I guess you can be

Because being a lesbian is the pinacle of human achievement and all those curious girls just want to be connected to our fabulousness.


haha, living vicariously through lesbians, now that's cool!

Seriously, though, it is a fact that a number of heterosexual males find the idea of two women together sexually very, very appealling. Therefore, plenty of submissive women will open themselves up to lesbian play because their Dominant wants it that way.

That's very true, a man gets rather interested in a woman who claims that they enjoy being with another woman as well. To me I think that girls don't understand the difference between bisexual and bicurious.

I am bisexual but I don't think I've ever tried to come across as cool. I was bisexual even before I came into the scene, so I am who I am, and will declare it as such. I'm not really enthused with the ones who are so excited when they find out, I'm not going to have sex with a woman just because I can.

[DowntownAmber]

Sub here, and not bisexual. Will I play with another woman? Sure. I like kissing women, they are soft and pretty and smell nice so why not? And when you put two soft and pretty attractive things together it's no wonder the boys/men/Doms are aroused.

I know there are hetero girls out there that play the same way I do and claim to be bi because it makes them seem a little more adventurous and a little more on the edge and they think it makes the men perk up thier ears, but can you really be considered seriously bi or lesbian when you're doing it to attract a man??

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

Your post sounds like you've taken it as a slight against you for not being bi-sexual. Words like why do they claim to be. I would say because they are? lol

I certainly didn't mean to come across this way, I am perfectly happy with my sexuality, I've had my encounters with women, but I wouldn't consider myself bisexual because of them and have never used it in a way to gain attention.

It just just be the girls I'm encountering in the scene at the moment and the dominants they have, its very much a competition atmosphere at the moment I find.
Who has the subbiest subbie, who is bi, bendy, corseted and subbier than thou.
Drives me mad.

Thank you all for you posts, much to think about and ponder.
Live to question and challenge all you know - as they say.

Thanks

[J-Go]

Sub here, and not bisexual. Will I play with another woman? Sure. I like kissing women, they are soft and pretty and smell nice so why not? And when you put two soft and pretty attractive things together it's no wonder the boys/men/Doms are aroused.

I know there are hetero girls out there that play the same way I do and claim to be bi because it makes them seem a little more adventurous and a little more on the edge and they think it makes the men perk up thier ears, but can you really be considered seriously bi or lesbian when you're doing it to attract a man??

Personally I don't care why you do it! weg*

[gemmy]

I certainly didn't mean to come across this way, I am perfectly happy with my sexuality, I've had my encounters with women, but I wouldn't consider myself bisexual because of them and have never used it in a way to gain attention.

It just just be the girls I'm encountering in the scene at the moment and the dominants they have, its very much a competition atmosphere at the moment I find.
Who has the subbiest subbie, who is bi, bendy, corseted and subbier than thou.
Drives me mad.

Thank you all for you posts, much to think about and ponder.
Live to question and challenge all you know - as they say.

Thanks

True, I've encountered the same along the way for sure and just take it for what it is; attention seeking and just choose to not participate in that kind of competition.

I like the differing definitions of bi; bi-curious; hetroflexible; half-bi (top) and so on that this thread is accumulating - very interesting indeed

LMAO @ the Domly types responses haha! So true to form

[Kuskovian]

Mastersgem, did you expect anything else from us? LOL.

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

True, I've encountered the same along the way for sure and just take it for what it is; attention seeking and just choose to not participate in that kind of competition.

My dominant said the same thing, he told me to just let them out compete each other and let them be, and that I am not to engage in such things as it will do neither of us any good.

I think you and him have hit the nail on the head, rise above it - as it's annoying me
Thanks

P.S - To the dominants who posted, you've made me smile a little, nice to see you poking your heads in the subbie side of the cake overseeing the frolics.

[steelish]

My dominant said the same thing, he told me to just let them out compete each other and let them be, and that I am not to engage in such things as it will do neither of us any good.

I think you and him have hit the nail on the head, rise above it - as it's annoying me
Thanks

P.S - To the dominants who posted, you've made me smile a little, nice to see you poking your heads in the subbie side of the cake overseeing the frolics.

Ok, so why should it annoy anyone? What difference does it make who or what someone else is if they are not your partner? To suggest that it matters attaches a stigma to a sexuality.

I myself am bi. I consider myself that, yes. I have been with several other women and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I think women are beautiful and desirable.

I am married to a wonderful man and am currently with a Dom. Had I met a domme that I "clicked" with, I might have ended up with her, but I met Ronn first.

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

Ok, so why should it annoy anyone? What difference does it make who or what someone else is if they are not your partner? To suggest that it matters attaches a stigma to a sexuality.

It matters because the girls who caused me to post in the first place are friends of mine, as are their dominants, people I spend time with in the scene, at clubs and in vanilla situations.

It annoys me because many conversations and activities are driven towards who had done what, with whom and how many times and it tests my patience once in a while.
since I'm not overly competitive, or brag about what I do and with whom I tend to get bored.

[moonlitsub]

I think that most girls are bi for two reasons one women are more comfortable with there sexuality then men (as a majority on both sides) and two some women just think thats what men want so they will be that to be more appealing I really don't get it. I have met quite a few guys though that if you get them drunk enough so that there inhabition go they actually will suck a little bit or what not.

[Logic1]

Personally I don't care why you do it! weg*

LMAO
I dont personally feel the need to add another partner in my bedroom nor does it particularly turn me on but if it would be another, then another girl for sure. Men dont turn me on at all even though I sure can appreciate a good looking man.
I was probably gay in another life

[fetishdj]

Why is it cool to be bi? Well, I know for a fact that Bi girls can go around feeling up and looking at women in ways which would get a straight man slapped or punched

Seriously... I think some of the so called bi's are bi curious and, in many cases, possibly doing what many men do and lying about thier conquests to get more attention. Bi is a difficult one to call as it encompasses so many 'inbetween states' in the same way as 'switch' does and so the definitions we use get confused. As stated earlier, you can break the definition of 'Bi' into so many sub groupings, possibly ad infinitum.

I am not bi. I have kissed a man and seen a man's genitals close up. These may be construed as 'homosexual activities' by some therefore making me 'bi'. However, I know that I had absolutely no sexual feelings during either encounter. I will do bi things as part of a scene if commanded to do so (in fact, the Mistress I occasionally physically session with has intimated that this may happen soon) but I will not get any sexual feelings from it.

As for the Ancient Greeks... that is an interesting cultural thing and something we lost because the Romans were able to stamp Christian morals over the entire world. Their attitudes to women were somewhat brutal, however... seeing them as useful for nothing other than procreation. What interests me about this is that one of our closest animal relatives, the Bonobo Chimpanzee, has a social structure based almost entirely on sex. Bonobos of both genders have sex with each other a lot, often as a form of greeting ritual (imagine that, in an interview or business meeting... 'Hello Mr Smith, pleased to meet you. Just give me a second to get my trousers off and we can say hello properly' ). Dogs (and I think wolves as well) use sex as a domination thing - the alpha male mounts the lesser males in the pack to demonstrate his dominance and some behaviourists suggest this as a means to show a dog that you are in charge, by standing behind them and holding your groin to their behind).

[TomOfSweden]

It's always cool to have more options available.

[thrall]

I was wondering more if the girls you are talking about think more along the lines of

its cool to be bad........

im not saying that in a negative way........just the idea of being a ...bad girl.... may be an attraction of its own....

[TomOfSweden]

I've never had a girlfriend/wife that wasn't. I personally can't imagine not being at least bi-curious. I don't think I really can imagine what pure mono-gender attraction would be like. I mean.... nah. No, idea.

I like it when my wife positively comments on a hot chick we see in the street. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside. Its just one more example that her cup is half-full.... Yeah... that's why bi-sexuality beats straightness! It feels more like an embrace of life.

Bi-chicks rock!!!

[WyldWyl]

Why is it currently trendy to be bi if you're a female? I don't know- I think a lot of self-proclaimedly bisexual girls (of my age group and lower) are just doing it for attention or to be rebellious. I'd like to make a nice positive statement about young women owning their sexuality and not being bound by outdated morality and social convention, but I don't think that's true.

The more interesting question to me right now is that of why, given the fashionable status of female bisexuality, is it not cool for men to be bi? Taking myself for example. I consider myself pan-sexual or gender-blind in my approach to my sexuality; attracted to people regardless of their sex or if their gender matches up to it, but the functional result could be said to be bisexuality- in simplistic terms.

I'd like to think that my willingness to be open-minded and accepted was laudible and cool, but it seems not to be the case. Rather, most people -outside of the bdsm community, seem to be if not disgusted then at least disturbed by my sexuality. I do wish more guys were open to trying it, but I think that's 15-20 years down the road.

Oh well, I guess I didn't add much to this, but I wanted to say something.

[Hime]

After various conversations over the last few days with friends of mine, Ive been pondering the following.

Why do bi girls (the majority) flaunt it like it's cool, as if it makes them more special.
A girl I know is very proud from having slept with what she claims to be most of the girls she knows in the scene in her hometown.
If I were to knock that on its head and be proud of sleeping with all the males in my hometown... not so cool but slutty.

Also, why do so many girls in the scene claim to be bi, I understand that scene folk are more open minded and open to more experiences but I have yet to meet a female submissive that is not bisexual, I find this hard to believe.
(there is also not the same amount of male bi sexuals in the scene either.)

To the lazywebs I ask... why is it so cool to be bisexual?

It's cool because we get to sleep with hot, sexy men AND hot, sexy women. The same reason why it's cool to be a switch -- and I should know, being both.

Seriously -- yeah, there are a lot of young women who want to be bi because it seems rebellious or gets guys' attention. Personally, I don't know if I "flaunt" my sexuality any more than most hetero people I know do -- I love both my husband and my girlfriend (we're poly; I'm not cheating), and I don't have any desire to hide my feelings for either of them. I do want people to know that I'm bi, mostly because how will I find partners if people don't know what I like?

As for being "slutty," frankly I'm proud of all the men *and* women I've been with. The people I've played with have all been special and interesting in their own ways, and I wouldn't do something if I wasn't going to own it and be proud of it. I don't see anything to be ashamed of.

One thing I don't understand, though: why do people think it's sexier for a submissive woman with a dominant male partner to be bi, when obviously it would be subbie-er and kinkier for her to not be bi, but be willing to do it anyway for the excitement of her Dom?

The more interesting question to me right now is that of why, given the fashionable status of female bisexuality, is it not cool for men to be bi? Taking myself for example. I consider myself pan-sexual or gender-blind in my approach to my sexuality; attracted to people regardless of their sex or if their gender matches up to it, but the functional result could be said to be bisexuality- in simplistic terms.

In general it is definitely harder for bi guys. I think a big part of it is that during the height of AIDS hysteria, a lot of media sources made it seem like the easiest way for a woman to get HIV was to sleep with a man who was also sleeping with me. Also, the gay male subculture can be kind of exclusive at times and isn't really accepting of bi men, which my bi male friends tell me makes it hard to find partners.

Personally, though, I love bi guys. I think they're pretty much the hottest, probably for the same reasons that a lot of straight men think bi women are.

[Hime]

Oh and also -- for what it's worth, I'm also really bothered by the whole kinky status game. Mostly because, despite being all bi and stuff, I'm really pretty rubbish as a submissive (I generally prefer the term "challenging"). Even if your kink is about being property and being shown off, there are ways to do that that don't put down other people's relationships and preferences.

[Flaming_Redhead]

It's a very common male fantasy to not only be able to watch 2 beautiful women together but also be able to participate. In the competitive BDSM dating arena where there are more submissives than dominants, I suspect these girls are just agreeable to doing whatever they think gives them an edge and are not actually bisexual. I, myself, enjoy a little naughty flirting among friends now and then, but I don't consider myself bi or even bi-curious. Curious about what?! I've experimented. I'm completely hetero. I would never dream of running away from Daddy to be with a woman or suggest that he bring another woman into the relationship, but if he ever wants me to perform with one, I won't refuse.