Awww, Iīm so sorry for you two. The first Fetish party should be great!

I donīt mean to offend anyone on here who is into swinging, but after my experience the swinging fraction never mixes good with the Fetish/BDSM people. They are just... different. I like to define it as "trying to be kinky, but being full of inhibitions in a really bad way". By this I mean, a certain sort of swinger men thinks they can look down on a submissive woman (using the word "slut" in the really bad way). Plus they seem to find it hard to keep their hands off other ladies, and tend to get nasty if you turn them down politely.

I would recommend for your next party to select a location that is NOT usually a swinger club, and make it a place that is known to look after the dresscode.

I remember from my first few parties that they made a big deal of the dresscode in the beginning, and all of a sudden there were fat old ugly disgusting men in your so nicely described jeans-and-poloshirt outfit who were ogling and staring and very near drooling in a really disgusting, rude, impolite way. Of course they were all single, or at least attending the party alone. YUCK.

I know very well what you mean by your description of your not-minding-looks if they came from the right persons...

Back then, a few of us went to the door people and asked why THAT sort of people in NO Fetish outfit (plus with no manners) at all was let in in the first place?! They said, "well, they paid 200 bucks extra, and we need the money".
We spread those words. It led to a lot more complaints, and the Fetish crowd staying away, until - finally - the organizers learned their lessons and stopped letting such idiots in - which we, in turn, rewarded by attending the parties again.

It seems a lot of Fetish folks paying regular prices do make up for more income than a few ugly old creepy bastards... I would very strongly recommend to you that you complain with the party organizers, and not just let this "event" stand as if it had been okay.

I would like to point out that I did not intend to be mean to older people who donīt look perfect, of course... I do trust you get my point as to the sort of people I was referring to!