Thank you all so much for your replies to my somewhat dramatic (maybe overly so) posting. I must admit that I feel slightly embarrassed over it- I can almost see myself flouncing as I say the final words, a soft but marked whine to my tone. That being said, Demon Dom- truly fantastic response. I'm grateful all of you told me to calm down, more or less.

I got up the courage to mention it to him. Here's how I phrased it, after having some time to think it over: If I am serving/submitting because I really don't feel capable of facing life without his guidance, then in truth, I'm giving him nothing. He thinks it's a positive thing, and we're discussing how much I'd like to step away from the lifestyle interactions. This is hard for me to do.

We also figured out that my issues with sexuality may be tied directly into self-worth and I may be having problems with intimacy, or I may need to rebuild our intimate connection before we build walls. I get a great deal of leeway anyway because he doesn't want a TPE, he wants it to be 51%/49%, which implies more of a partnership than a traditional submissive would like. I also get leeway because I have problems with anxiety and depression. Giving up more control is going to be very hard for him, but he'll do it. He suggests this will make me a better, more interesting submissive, and I hope he's right. I'm just afraid I'll find out that I'm not submissive anymore and we're no longer sexually compadible... I don't know. I just wanted to thank you all, though.

I'll probably respond with more long-windedness after sleep- but I am calmer now. (Oh, and he totally does the breathing thing with me any time I get worked up at all.)