I'm having a hard time understanding how you came to this realization. If you honestly feel that his guidance makes your life substantially better, what's the problem? There is nothing wrong with needing him. Is your submission worthless because you benefit from it? Isn't that what power exchange is all about? You're giving him something he needs from you in exchange for what you need from him. I don't know if there's a person on this planet who can live his/her entire life in service to others while expecting absolutely nothing in return. We all get something out of it, or we wouldn't be here.