uhm, just to chip in with an idea here, perhaps it would help you if you wrote everything down? like 'a letter' if you will, to your mother or best friend or whatever? get all the things you want to say in there, make sure it's exactly how you want it and if you still want to tell, ask your Master to read it for you--you've still respected his wishes but you've also worked with yourself in finding a way to deal with what you want.