Where are the straight dommes.

[usemehrd]

I have been reading the letters for a long time and thought I would see whats going on in the real world, so I join the forums to find a dominant woman,I have always fantasied about women getting rough with me but all I found are subs and lesbians and have not even seen any from Toronto. So do you exist or not.

[Euryleia]

Gracious, I had no idea that subs and lesbians had taken over the forums. Nobody tells me anything.

You could put an ad in the personals section.

[ObjectivistActivist]

Maybe an ad too.

[Ozme52]

It's pretty much acknowledged that within the entire community, online and off, that dommes are the rarest of creatures...

Whether most are lesbians or not... yeah... any woman who doesn't desparately want me... yeah, she must be a lesbian. LOL

[Tojo]

You might be better off just finding a nice girl, & hinting about your interests.

Worked for me....

[dynamicbuttler]

You might be better off just finding a nice girl, & hinting about your interests.

Worked for me....

But aren't you a dom? Most girls would WAY rather mandom over femdom. I think 80% of women have some interest in being submissive partners in BDSM, weather they call it BDSM or not.

[Tojo]

But aren't you a dom? Most girls would WAY rather mandom over femdom. I think 80% of women have some interest in being submissive partners in BDSM, weather they call it BDSM or not.

Well that's what I call myself, yeah- but it hasn't always been that way.

[dynamicbuttler]

It's pretty much acknowledged that within the entire community, online and off, that dommes are the rarest of creatures...

Whether most are lesbians or not... yeah... any woman who doesn't desparately want me... yeah, she must be a lesbian. LOL

BS

I've had times where I've seen 8 dommes in a row on these internets and each was a lesbian. Quit trying to make him out as an ass, he's just seen a lot of lesbians.

[Alex Bragi]

BS

I've had times where I've seen 8 dommes in a row on these internets and each was a lesbian. Quit trying to make him out as an ass, he's just seen a lot of lesbians.

Yes but, since we're talking about the internet here, how can you be so certain all eight of those "lesbians" were actually women?

And, I think Oz's comment was just a little of his dry tongue in cheek humour.

[Ozme52]

Yes but, since we're talking about the internet here, how can you be so certain all eight of those "lesbians" were actually women?

LOL

And, I think Oz's comment was just a little of his dry tongue in cheek humour.

Yep! Just having a good time on and off line. Too dry I guess.

[Warbaby1943]

LOL



Yep! Just having a good time on and off line. Too dry I guess.

No I got it and really enjoyed it. Almost said it applied to me too. LOL

[stripedangel]

It's pretty much acknowledged that within the entire community, online and off, that dommes are the rarest of creatures...

Whether most are lesbians or not... yeah... any woman who doesn't desparately want me... yeah, she must be a lesbian. LOL

Uh, yeah, cuz who can resist a fellow who knows that cute lil lion (rrroarrrrr)!?!

......and the tinman! Would you get their autographs for me, please?

Dommes are very distinguished, and the ones that i've dealt with online tend to be very patient, yet very sharp in ther mind, looks, speech, etc. i haven't met one in real life...but i can say that in the chats, i've been hit up for PM by just as many Dommes as i have Doms.

i'm sorry, did i miss something in this post that was crappy? i took Ozme's post as complementary....Dommes are different indeed! They seem to believe in the total experience. i could be wrong, though Master would never believe it, but i think that being a "rare creature" makes you special.

i'm just slightly too tall to be considered a midgit at 4ft 9.5in tall. i look Master right square between the nipples when i'm trying not to break my neck, LOL. This makes me special. i like it.......

[cadence]

I know I haven't met too many people in the BDSM scence in Ontario, I've met a few from Toronto, but most seem to be hidden away somewhere, I think you have to start really looking yourself, I wouldn't wait for them to come to you.

As for Dommes, they do exist in Toronto, the ones I do know (not personally) are bisexual, and are poly.

Are you looking in other forums? Or is this the first place you have been so far?

[Ozme52]

Uh, yeah, cuz who can resist a fellow who knows that cute lil lion (rrroarrrrr)!?!

......and the tinman! Would you get their autographs for me, please?

But not the scarecrow? Oh! I get it, virile lion, man of metal... but not the guy with the stuffing in his pants.

[gloombunny]

Damn! What am I doing wrong that I'm not meeting any of the plentiful dominant lesbians?

[stripedangel]

But not the scarecrow? Oh! I get it, virile lion, man of metal... but not the guy with the stuffing in his pants.

OK, ozme, sorry.....can i have your autograph too?

fetishdj, you made a good point. from that, i would suggest simply posting a personal ad and hanging out in the chats. Ask questions...just general in the beginning..."does anyone come in here who..."

W/we are all eager to help, but we're very careful about the info we give out about one another. Ask the right questions and you may get the answers that you desire. you may run into some who knows someone who isn't online atm...

Be patient, it's amazing what sort of opportunities will fall into your lap!

[WyldWyl]

Pfft, the real question is where are the gay doms?

[snowflake]

Pfft, the real question is where are the gay doms?

lol cute Sir..

As for Dommes in Toronto.. There are many r/l Dommes .. just go to one of the fet nights .. forsure you will see a few.. i know i have weg.. There is at least one every week in T.O. if not two or three.. again i know been there done that ..

and then there are the ones that like to switch now and then.. that have the knowledge and are quite capable of coming out with a dommish personality..

And i have found many on here that are from the Toronto area .. maybe not Dommes persay .. but subs switches and Doms.. So maybe take a closer look.. a lot of people do have beside there name where they reside.. then go from there ..

Also check in chat .. you can tell what a person likes to be like in there .. giggles .. a sub might be one that likes to top now and then or more often..

Just some hints...

but putting an ad up is your best shot..

hugs
snow

[Ozme52]

Pfft, the real question is where are the gay doms?

Wish I could help you out Wyld.

...but I can't.

[WyldWyl]

Wish I could help you out Wyld.

...but I can't.

Sure you can't. Chicken. Buck-buck-buck-buckawww!

[Ozme52]

Sure you can't. Chicken. Buck-buck-buck-buckawww!

[Ozme52]

But not the scarecrow? Oh! I get it, virile lion, man of metal... but not the guy with the stuffing in his pants.

OK, ozme, sorry.....can i have your autograph too?

Cut to the quick!!!

You'll get yours girlie, and your little dog too.

[snowflake]

Pfft, the real question is where are the gay doms?

Sorry i wasn't born a boy.. but hey can't have everything..

Thanks god i am not a man..snickers

geesh .. puts my whip down and walks away..

{wonders if i am in trouble now..giggles}

[fetishdj]

I think some Domme women tend to keep a low profile online because if they even let a hint of their nature out they get inundated with requests to dominate them - most of them from wannabes and morons who think 'BDSM' is 'kinky sex' and nothing more. Male doms don't get this so much from what I have seen.

The best advise I can give is to get involved in the scene in some way - both online and in real life. Post intelligent and sensitive comments in web forums, show yourself to be a person worth knowing. Make sure that you come across as 'a person' rather than a testosterone driven moron who posts endless requests for domination. Go to munches and play parties and be polite and understanding. Make friends, build trust and enjoy yourself while you are doing it. Above all, be patient. You are unlikely to find a Mistress immediately.

If you are that desperate for some BDSM in your life right now then I suggest you look up any professional Mistresses in your area. There is at least one in every city and a web search should reveal most of them these days. A session with a pro may help you find out exactly what you do and don't like done to you as fantasy and reality are sometimes different.

Good luck in the search. It is never easy...

[snowflake]

I think some Domme women tend to keep a low profile online because if they even let a hint of their nature out they get inundated with requests to dominate them - most of them from wannabes and morons who think 'BDSM' is 'kinky sex' and nothing more. Male doms don't get this so much from what I have seen.

The best advise I can give is to get involved in the scene in some way - both online and in real life. Post intelligent and sensitive comments in web forums, show yourself to be a person worth knowing. Make sure that you come across as 'a person' rather than a testosterone driven moron who posts endless requests for domination. Go to munches and play parties and be polite and understanding. Make friends, build trust and enjoy yourself while you are doing it. Above all, be patient. You are unlikely to find a Mistress immediately.

If you are that desperate for some BDSM in your life right now then I suggest you look up any professional Mistresses in your area. There is at least one in every city and a web search should reveal most of them these days. A session with a pro may help you find out exactly what you do and don't like done to you as fantasy and reality are sometimes different.

Good luck in the search. It is never easy...

Very true and very good advise hun...

[Tufty]

Straight Dommes??? Well, I seem to have found a few o/l without even looking for them

I think you just have to take the time to get to know people - and you'll be surprised at what you find

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I definitely agree with you, fetishdj. There have been so many times when I've been in other chat rooms and a Domme would be in the room and all the male subs would immediately flock to her. No greeting anyone else in the room, no just joining in other conversations, etc. They make a beeline for the Domme. And so many of the male subs were so eager, so whiny, so desparate that the Domme spent all her time slapping the subs on ignore. This always made me glad that I was not a Domme. I've never wanted that kind of attention.

I think one reason why the Doms don't seem to have that kind of trouble is that female subs are trained to be more subtle around them, if they want to find a serious relationship with a Dom. Yes, there are subs who are flirts, who will play with just about any Dom who shows an interest, who will play with other subs as well as Dom/mes. But they don't seem to have that "desperate" quality that the male subs have. For these female subs, they seem to be there to have fun and not have the attitude of "if I don't get what I want right now, I'm gonna die!" (though I have seen some desperate female subs as well, but not as many as male subs).

To be honest, I think that most of the Dommes I've met online have been bisexual.

[fetishdj]

I definitely agree with you, fetishdj. There have been so many times when I've been in other chat rooms and a Domme would be in the room and all the male subs would immediately flock to her. No greeting anyone else in the room, no just joining in other conversations, etc. They make a beeline for the Domme. And so many of the male subs were so eager, so whiny, so desparate that the Domme spent all her time slapping the subs on ignore. This always made me glad that I was not a Domme. I've never wanted that kind of attention.

Yep. I have seen this in chatrooms too. Especially the alt.com ones where they get a lot of people coming in from their other dating sites (because they have an offer that encourages you to join more than one of them). The ones who go straight to the BDSM site are usually lifestylers looking to chat - often not even about BDSM - those who come in from the other sites are usually looking for quick sex and they think BDSM is the best place to find 'loose, dirty, kinky women'. So, those who are straight Dommes either keep a very low profile, claim to be gay even of they are not or spend a lot of time troll bashing or educating men as to how they should approach them properly. The speech above is one I used to give to a lot of people when they blasted into a chatroom and looked like they would potentially annoy a lot of Dommes (not saying the OP here was one of these, BTW, they look like the sort of person who may end up the other end of the scale and good luck to them). Some would listen and learn, others wouldn't. The room would have time for the former and none for the latter.

I think one reason why the Doms don't seem to have that kind of trouble is that female subs are trained to be more subtle around them, if they want to find a serious relationship with a Dom. Yes, there are subs who are flirts, who will play with just about any Dom who shows an interest, who will play with other subs as well as Dom/mes. But they don't seem to have that "desperate" quality that the male subs have. For these female subs, they seem to be there to have fun and not have the attitude of "if I don't get what I want right now, I'm gonna die!" (though I have seen some desperate female subs as well, but not as many as male subs).

To be honest, I think that most of the Dommes I've met online have been bisexual.

Not in my experience. I think the split has been about equal once you actually get to know them. There are many Dommes who want thier *subs* to be Bisexual but they themselves seem to be equally divided into 'straight', 'gay' and 'bi' along the same proprotions as vanilla. Though the true numbers could be something else entirely... [subliminal message]Please someone pay me to do the research. I got qualifications and everything [/subliminal message]

[stripedangel]

ach......my little dog would just pull out all your stuffing, which would leave quite a mess for me to clean up!

[medusa]

I'm far more sub than I am Domme, but from my looks I'd make a good Domme (I'm a bit 'fantasy figure' for a Domme- very tall, big bust, authority figure in my home town, wear corsetry, spike heels and lots of black leather).

I get offers of male subs (usually quite honest offers) most weeks, despite having been as open as I can be about it not being a good time for me and therefore applications routinely being turned down.

If potential slaves are finding me out to offer their services in the knowledge that they are likely to be turned down then there really must be a gap in the market for straight Dommes.

If my health was good and my heart was in it at the moment then I'm sure I wouldn't be short of applicants- and my house would look fabulous (one of them is a decorator who offered to decorate my whole house as payment for being dominated). The fact remains that my fantasies are more sub than Domme and at the moment I'm both unable to enact any of them and involved in a vanilla relationship with someone who I wouldn't wish to hurt.