I think some Domme women tend to keep a low profile online because if they even let a hint of their nature out they get inundated with requests to dominate them - most of them from wannabes and morons who think 'BDSM' is 'kinky sex' and nothing more. Male doms don't get this so much from what I have seen.

The best advise I can give is to get involved in the scene in some way - both online and in real life. Post intelligent and sensitive comments in web forums, show yourself to be a person worth knowing. Make sure that you come across as 'a person' rather than a testosterone driven moron who posts endless requests for domination. Go to munches and play parties and be polite and understanding. Make friends, build trust and enjoy yourself while you are doing it. Above all, be patient. You are unlikely to find a Mistress immediately.

If you are that desperate for some BDSM in your life right now then I suggest you look up any professional Mistresses in your area. There is at least one in every city and a web search should reveal most of them these days. A session with a pro may help you find out exactly what you do and don't like done to you as fantasy and reality are sometimes different.

Good luck in the search. It is never easy...