I am with you there Oz and Tojo. Yes Lily, both tops and bottoms can have their hearts broken but in my experience Doms are always one step ahead in how much of themselves they are laying on the line, speaking emotionally rather than physically.

Dare I suggest that this is one reason why a true sub is not a doormat but is strong and nurtures her Dom. During a scene he is the one who is proactive and putting his head above the parapet, and he would not be human if he was not concerned about how he had 'performed'. Was his timing right, was he too hard, too gentle etc etc, and picking up the theme of the moment, he is the one whose poor aftercare could result in subdrop. Yes, he will make mistakes, but she can guide him away from those and tend his wounds until he is ready to rise up even stronger than before.

It was those thoughts which were behind my posts in defence of wannabe and newbie Doms. The only type of Dom I exclude from this is the truly abusive and bullying Dom, but I think that is a point which did not need making.

cariad