"I doubt many, if any at all, of the doms open up when they've put time and effort into someone who just wasn't ready, or merely curious.

Perhaps our pain is greater because we bear it alone."

True, but is there any real need for this? Doms are supposed to be strong (for that matter so are subs in my view). There's no weakness in displaying the truth.

Emotionally, D/s is a heavily serious investment for anyone regardless of role. I think that's one of the things that really drew me in to begin with, I feel a bond that develops in D/s that goes well past what I've known before. Not talking a sexual bond, I mean the trust and respect required to make real progress. In any situation like that, unfortunately the flip side of the coin is we all become vulnerable.

I do agree that dealing with a new Dom who's wielding a flogger or what have you for the first time might be... difficult. But hopefully most people have enough common sense to start small and go from there (he wishes, knowing full well many won't).