Hmmmn interesting thread. When does cheating become cheating. Cheating becomes cheating as soon as your conscience tells you you are. We as a species are adept at telling ourselves what's ok and what's not. We could convince ourselves white was black if need be.

I think the bottom line is would you mind if your partner found out about the things you have said, done etc. online or in real life. And would they mind if they found out. What would be their reaction.

It's a line I walk everyday. I am in an online relationship and in R/L my wife doesn't share my penchant for BDSM. She is aware of my online activities but I certainly don't think she would necessarily like or approve of what I say or do. And may even consider it cheating although she has said that if there is emotional investment, that's when it becomes cheating. I don't agree with her on that but I think that is the difference between guys and girls. Can we love more than one person at a time? I think you can. Do I believe in poly relationships? Absolutely.

I think I'm am more in touch with what I want and who I am than I have ever been at any time in my life. I have made it clear to her that I have to follow my heart when it comes to that. If we expressed our hearts desire in the first place and followed that desire there would be no need to cheat, lie or do any of those things. I think we have a long way to go when it comes to being true to ourselves.