My very first d/s online (and very first ever) relationship was with a married man. (I am single but have been married) We discussed this often - he did not consider it cheating UNTIL he got caught. How can "playing" or just talking be cheating? But as time goes on, how can you not be handing someone your heart along with your orgasms!?

Losing this relationship was hard but knowing I was the "other woman" was even more devastating - and kind of icky. Although I wouldn't take away the experience it has definitely changed me. I realize it was my choice to be involved in this situation but that brick wall around my heart is stronger than ever.

My question to those with spouses/partners who are unaware of this situation is: how would you feel if you knew your partner were doing the same things you are doing here or in IM?

I hope I don't sound judgemental because I really am not. Every situation is different. I'm here because the people in this forum are an open-minded bunch...hopefully me included!

I have read that some of you have tried to approach your partner to incorporate this in to your real life. These desires are strong. Some of us believe we can love more than one person in life. Do we share our heart, body, mind with more than one person? And how would I feel if I knew my partner were sharing a part of himself with someone else that was so important, so intimate?

Sighs. It's an interesting question and I envy those who have clear-cut opinions either way. Trust is an essential part of any relationship r/l or online and it's certainly something that is earned. Done rambling....will continue listening since it's so very interesting to hear all sides.