Thanks Cookie
I didn't feel judged. I did feel that maybe I could explain a little better what is going around in my head. I know I'm not the only one here in the same situation.
I'm finding that talking this out, seeing how people react is really helping me see with a clarity I had not been able to achieve on my own.
It is very strange to me that posting my most personal thoughts here for the world to see has made it possible for me to see my life a bit less emotionally. It’s amazing how you end up chasing your tail after awhile.