Married/online D/s?

[Timberwolf]

"If he’s so intolerant, (shrug) his loss."

Thumbs up.

[Warbaby1943]

I don’t want a divorce at this time in my life, but I do want someone to tell me I’m sexy, lovely, worth the effort.

Sbbe I think you are all the above and then some. And you are definitely worth the effort. I love those blue eyes.

[Tojo]

Excellent post SBBE, kind of says it all in a few words.


Tojo

[frankee]

Gosh isn’t it silly the way we let morality slip into a place all about hurting the one you lust after. Giggle. Honestly I’m tired of feeling bad, I don’t care if I’m guilty or innocent, (Ya giggle) I’m here to have fun and enjoy life.

I'm not going to worry that so and so got a divorce because they were intolerant. I’m just going to enjoy playing wildly and free in a way I’m not allowed to at home.

If I get caught so be it. I sinned, I’ll take the punishment. If he’s so intolerant, (shrug) his loss. If he won’t give me a kind word someone else will. I don’t want a divorce at this time in my life, but I do want someone to tell me I’m sexy, lovely, worth the effort. I feel that cyber is a much safer and kinder way to go about this. Might catch a virus but not an STD.

My advice is do what you have to, your partner is.

i agree 100%. Sexy and smart

[StillBehindBlueEyes]

Giggle thank you all very much. Blush

[Mr. Mojo Risin]

welll i am just now starting out on all of this kinky stuff but i'd like to think my marriage is a happy one and if i get into this as much as my wife is, then i'd have to say she'd be the only sub i'd need, she's to much of handful as it is. i'm content with having just her, hell it took me a long time to get her, i plan on keeping her

[StillBehindBlueEyes]

welll i am just now starting out on all of this kinky stuff but i'd like to think my marriage is a happy one and if i get into this as much as my wife is, then i'd have to say she'd be the only sub i'd need, she's to much of handful as it is. i'm content with having just her, hell it took me a long time to get her, i plan on keeping her

Giggle, I so wish, I so dream, it would be so awsome if hubby would think this way. Smiles, good luck sir

[katie_21]

welll i am just now starting out on all of this kinky stuff but i'd like to think my marriage is a happy one and if i get into this as much as my wife is, then i'd have to say she'd be the only sub i'd need, she's to much of handful as it is. i'm content with having just her, hell it took me a long time to get her, i plan on keeping her

aww

I am not a handful though! You make me sound bad lol

[Ozme52]

aww

I am not a handful though! You make me sound bad lol

...which is good in my book!

[Ozme52]

welll i am just now starting out on all of this kinky stuff but i'd like to think my marriage is a happy one and if i get into this as much as my wife is, then i'd have to say she'd be the only sub i'd need, she's to much of handful as it is. i'm content with having just her, hell it took me a long time to get her, i plan on keeping her

If? I say go to work boyo!! You know what needs to be done.

[katie_21]

Oz, your posts always make me laugh!

[DemonGoddess]

Just my poorly articulated thoughts.

We cann't go to Mr. Webster for an answer as to what is and what isn't cheating. A person can cheat on their spouse with out ever taking a step away from the keyboard. They can also have a physical relationship with someone other than the person they're maired to without it being cheating.

Any time one person in a relationship engages in a relationship with a third person (beyond the context of friendship) without letting their partner know about it it's cheating.

Emotionaly cheating has been pretty well discused and I agree that so long as your partner knows about it it's not cheating but there hasn't been alot of discusion about physicaly cheating on ones partner. If both parties agree that they want to bring a third person into the relationship then I don't consider it to be cheating but if either one of the people in the relationship isn't comftorable with it than it's cheating.

As for my personal experiance... I've had two relavent online relationships that apply to this topic. In the first it was just a friendship. The guy involved was someone I met in the chatroom back in the days of Voodoo. He was married and his wife didn't know about the site. As we started talking and getting to know eachother he started feeling guilty and like he was hidding something from his wife and so he stopped comming around.
The other relationship was with a guy who was still married to his wife but they weren't living together. He actually gave her my screenname and she and I still chat everyonce in awhile. He and I don't talk anymore though. We didn't have a falling out or anything. I think it got weird for him and I lost interest in him.

[storm]

[QUOTE=My wife on the other hand has had many opportunities to participate in BDSM activities but doesn't want to.QUOTE]

That seems to be something that I keep reading on this site lately.
The whole 'it's my wife's fault for not liking what I do' type thing.

It's okay to cheat because you have 'needs' and your significant other is not open minded enough to satisfy you?

That's exactly why I'm starting to think this place is not as non-judgemental as I thought when I first arrived. And why I find I'm spending less and less time here.

[StillBehindBlueEyes]

[QUOTE=storm;134853]

That seems to be something that I keep reading on this site lately.
The whole 'it's my wife's fault for not liking what I do' type thing.

It's okay to cheat because you have 'needs' and your significant other is not open minded enough to satisfy you?

That's exactly why I'm starting to think this place is not as non-judgemental as I thought when I first arrived. And why I find I'm spending less and less time here.

Wow Giggle storm.

What a strange statement. Does it really offend you that so many of us are enjoying ourselves, or is it that some of us don't feel like cheaters because we are cyber that is so upsetting to you?

My hubby would consider the fact I masturbate cheating, the fact I fantasize cheating so I’m damned if I do or don’t. I’m not having trouble with this so why are you? I’m not asking you to be my friend, just relax. If he found my stash of toys Wow would I be in so much trouble. Giggle I just imagined him picking up the dildo with the swiffer duster extension handle seated in it. LOL “You did what with this.” Giggle

I don’t believe what we’ve been doing in this thread has been judgment, I think it’s been our own little therapy group. So say something therapeutic or come into games and play with us instead.

[Timberwolf]

.

[MsUther]

[QUOTE=storm;134853]

That seems to be something that I keep reading on this site lately.
The whole 'it's my wife's fault for not liking what I do' type thing.

It's okay to cheat because you have 'needs' and your significant other is not open minded enough to satisfy you?

That's exactly why I'm starting to think this place is not as non-judgemental as I thought when I first arrived. And why I find I'm spending less and less time here.

I believe you would benefit from reading over the threads and posts once more.
I cant see anything as judgemental as your post right here.

[storm]

Wow Giggle storm.

What a strange statement. Does it really offend you that so many of us are enjoying ourselves, or is it that some of us don't feel like cheaters because we are cyber that is so upsetting to you?

Not at all, if you read what I said you will probably realse that. All power to you. It's placing the blame on the person you choose to betray that 'offends' me.

[Timberwolf]

"It's placing the blame on the person you choose to betray that 'offends' me."

Let's dicount the ridiculously loaded way you've chosen to word your posts for a second.

So you think it would be better if people stayed in unhappy situations instead of looking for something better? If the other partner simply isn't willing or able to budge, and it leaves someone in a position of genuine unhappiness, they should just sit on it?

[storm]

Not at all.
But that's exactly what we are talking about isn't it?
Staying in an unhappy situation, but choosing to find something better as well.

Take not of the last part of the above statement.

And in response to your 'high horse' comment earlier, I hardly think that's what I'm standing on.

I've cheated, I've been cheated on, and I've been the other woman (but knowingly and not). I've done things that a number of people would believe are completely void of any morals.

But the mistakes have made have been MY MISTAKES.

[Timberwolf]

"But the mistakes have made have been MY MISTAKES."

And I suppose this is where you and I differ. I refuse to see cheating as universally a "mistake". Marriage simply isn't that sacred. Or at least, if it's become so much work that you have to choose between one unhappiness or the other, it isn't anymore, even if it once was.

[Tojo]

Easy guys.....

Please be nice??


Tojo

[cariad]

Okay, I have got to go out and will be offline for most of today, so will unable to watch how this develops. At the moment it is certainly heated and looks as though it could start to get ugly. We have had more than enough hurt feelings in Forums over the past few days; so I am going to lock this thread for a little while. The topic is something which affects many members so I would hate to see the discussion closed permanently, but think it is perhaps time to chill out.

cariad

[cariad]

Smiles, as the nice Mr Tojo said...

Easy guys.....

Please be nice??


Tojo

Please remember that it is not acceptable to say something like "playing online with a married person is wrong"; but it is acceptable to say something line "I beleive that is unwise to play on with a married person because..."

Unlocking this great thread...

cariad

[Warbaby1943]

Smiles, as the nice Mr Tojo said...



Please remember that it is not acceptable to say something like "playing online with a married person is wrong"; but it is acceptable to say something line "I beleive that is unwise to play on with a married person because..."

Unlocking this great thread...

cariad

I'm sorry but I think you are being too biased in what you think is acceptable. All Adults have their own way of saying things and it seems your statement is very opinionated to say the least.

Most adults can debate without someone telling them the words too use to do that debating. Sorry but this is just my opinion and you see it isn't even on the subject at hand. I just don't think this site needs such stringent guide lines to be placed on their words. You have your way of expressing yourself and I and others may have a different way. It doesn't mean any of us are wrong. That's what makes the world go round.

[Widget]

I think all Cariad means is that to be careful in the choice of wording. It is easy to misunderstand online when people are talking. Debate is good, hurt feelings are not.

[Warbaby1943]

I think all Cariad means is that to be careful in the choice of wording. It is easy to misunderstand online when people are talking. Debate is good, hurt feelings are not.

Still an adult does not need to be told what words to use. If it becomes flaming then it can be dealt with at that time.

[Tojo]

Still an adult does not need to be told what words to use. If it becomes flaming then it can be dealt with at that time.

Oh not you too WB!! :
Let's all do what auntie cariad wants- I don't want her to get riled....

The moderators (poor buggers) just enforce the rules, the same as the police do....& do a damn fine job of it. If we have no faith in them, we might as well pack up our whips & chains & leave.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4022


Tojo

[Timberwolf]

"we might as well pack up our whips & chains & leave. "

I think the forum has had more than enough of that this week already, thank you very much.

[Talia]

"we might as well pack up our whips & chains & leave. "

I think the forum has had more than enough of that this week already, thank you very much.

More than enough


WB....please don't misunderstand Cariad. She was just trying to point out using exclusives and quifiers can be trouble, and has in this thread. Lumping everyone in one category is wrong and will cause problems.

Now, on with the discussion......

Anyone else want to post something in regards to the topic?

[storm]

I think debate no longer becomes healthy debate when personal attacks replace argument points.

I don't think there were hurt feelings by either party in this situation, all is good.