Submission around family? friends even?

[briansmine]

Most folks would say I was the sub, if asked. It either irritates or amuses me greatly depending. They look at it from the wrong perspective. I fetch and carry for him because I don't want him in the kitchen or in the clothes or whatever. I'm a serious control freak about the kitchen. I don't let anyone clear their plates or go in the fridge. And he doesn't know where most stuff is.

But, he doesn't know or ask where the money is, hands his paycheck over without looking at it, doesn't have his own ATM card, doesn't get to decide what to eat, what to wear. I don't work outside the home and he works very hard. He can dominate as he is very dominant at work, but anything I express strong feelings about he falls in line. I'm truly a switch and he wants me to be more continuously a domme. It's a sticking point at times. The 24/7 thing sounds appealing, but also seems exhausting to me. To be "ON" all the time.

We are sort of uneven, I'll admit. I'm dominant in the bedroom and in the macro things like money, but the day to day stuff we're still working on. In fact, we're in a bit of a fight about it right now.

E

[Hime]

Most folks would say I was the sub, if asked. It either irritates or amuses me greatly depending. They look at it from the wrong perspective. I fetch and carry for him because I don't want him in the kitchen or in the clothes or whatever. I'm a serious control freak about the kitchen. I don't let anyone clear their plates or go in the fridge. And he doesn't know where most stuff is.

Ha, I thought I was the only one like that! I hate when people are in my kitchen. Especially my mother-in-law!

[Anne4humiliation]

I think there are several distinctions to be made

1. A distinction between the people you are with
Some might understand, some others might not. With still some others (like the people in your workplace) it doesn't seem prudent to take the risk. There are others still, where you simply don't care, but that was not the question here.

2. A distinction between different levels of D/s
There might be a few very good friends (maybe even people into the lifestyle themselves) where one could show the full depth of the relationship e.g. I could get a spanking for being too forward.
There may be some other tolerant people where I might obey orders (like get drinks), but within limits so as not to overtax their tolerance.
There are people/situations where I might show my obedience and submission through signals or body language only He will understand.

3. A distinction between intentions
There may be a situation, where He might want to take me down a notch, by making me submit in public.

Generally the rule in my relationship was that, while we were in our apartment, my 'natural state' was subservient, while outside I was 'free'. However He could change that with a word or a nod. Both give me time off when we were alone, maybe because I had to work for my job or beacuse he wanted to discuss something serious with me, and to make me submit, when outside. I trusted him to know when it was best/right for me to submit.

Anne

[deigja]

I have not jet lived a real D/s relationship , still I think I have something to say to this... I´s about feeling comfortable... Some people i still feel comfortable around even if they know. My best friend e.g. is fully aware about what I dream of and that i sumit to an onlinemaster. She would never comment on it, it´s my choice what I do and she likes me nonetheless. This is something I was sure about, so I told her. To have someone I can talk with about my problems, to have someone covering for me, consoling me if anything goes wrong.

But I would never tell my family, as I know they would freak out. When we watch a film and ther´s one of those typical exagerated prototypical BDSM scenes in there, they will imediately make fun of what they see, believing that all BDSM is about men going to a Dominatrix and paying for being whipped. They would never understand and I would not feel comfortable around them.

As for working: I work in a mens domaine and its very common there that they read sexual connotations into whatever you say. They make fun, they pose intimate questions, try to get you to blush as a female...the only thing not to be the one humiliated all the time (which I do not like at all from those I do not submit to) ist do pay them every comment back.. so I tell them a lot, even letting slip things like: "you´d really need a spanking , can I help you with this?" or other things that direktly hint at the lifestyle. Still or even because of this they would never imagine that I´m really into this
I would never really want them to know, because than I wouldn´t stand a chance there. But it can be really fun telling them directly without them knowing what you´re into

Total strangers I don´t mind at all. I do not have any problem walking into a shop, wearing a short skirt but no pantys because the ones who can hurt me most are the ones I care about. Not strangers that I will never see again. What can they do apart from making comments? But it would really hurt if my family thought bad about me


greetings to the lot of you
deigja