I've cut the ties with quite a few people I knew when I was a kid (schoolmates, etc - don't we all, to some extent?) but this had nothing to do with my bdsm inclinations. It was, partly, because these people felt too drab, too clichéd in their talk, too much like we didn't share a language anymore, just one or two years after turning 18. Feeling kind of depressed and directionless around 16-17, when some of us form friendships that'll last a lifetime, also meant I missed out on getting really close to many of my college buddies, but looking back I can't say I would have wished those to be a part of my life. It was too uniform a crowd, it somehow lacked colourful plumage.

I got fed up with running into people saying "Duh, hon, what are you studying now?" or" Hey do you remember Pete, he was always so stylish/so nerdy/ so drunk/so clever?" Also I'm not comfortable with places and reunions where everybody's trying to outcool each other, and everybody's a wannabee glutting at the fandom door (and without having sensible knowledge of what they're into). That kind makes me feel stifled, so I turned my back on that crowd and left. I'm not an exclusive or haughty person and again, this has very little to do with my sexual life.