Please, please don't turn this into a thread about 'lifers and non lifer friends'. If you must, perhaps a new topic would be nice?

No, Natalie, it isn't a contradiction. There are many aspects of personality that don't have any relation with BDSM, for me at least. Things such as bad habits, compulsions, etc. I really don't want to go into detail here, but it isn't about tiny 'imperfections' such as having smelly socks or not turning the toilet seat up.

I can see what the general response is, though, and I thank you. Indeed, I too always thought that I would never enter a relationship that did not have BDSM in it. Yet... sometimes I wonder if I overrate its importance. Would I rule out 90% of the population based on that point, and would I truly be happy if I ended up with someone who satisfied my sexual needs but made me unhappy otherwise?