Presto Chango...whoops!

[Mad Lews]

As you can see from the title of this post, I am a punny guy.

It seems that Lews was in charge of the post I quoted because only Lews makes such egregious mistakes. An album is not, as my esteemed collegue in harrassment would have you believe, a flat piece of plastic with grooves used to store audio files. An album, musically speaking, is actually a collection of recordings that are stored together on one form of media or another. A music CD, cassette or record (also called an LP) with more than one song is called an album. What Lews was referring to is an LP or a phonograph record.

Unfortunately, while he may suggest that I am high on gasoline, shoe polish and windex, it is he who is suffering from brain damage (a Pink Floyd song).

Live and learn Lews, live and learn!

And now, I shall retire to my bunker, firmly ensconsed behind several layers of bomb resistant materials. I don't want to be in the open when Lews fires back, after all. He will fire back...he is ornery that way.

To the Honorable Mr. Dean,
May I call you Howard?

As anyone who has experienced life's pleasures for more than a few decades will tell you, the word "Album" is a colloquial term for a "Phonographic Album"

(not pornographic you degenerate).

Even someone as repressed and passive aggressive as, oh I don’t know, say yourself, should not require a complete definition when a single word might suffice.

One of the lessons we (Mad and I) are trying to instill in our star pupil is an economy of words. This implies a shared vocabulary with the reading public.

While you may be technically correct, in an anally retentive kind of way, I would no more insist upon the words phonographic album than I would have need to say 'motion picture show' for a movie or 'foppish dithering dilettante' for a certain literary critic of our mutual acquaintance.

I do hope this clarifies our misunderstanding.

Most respectfully yours
Lews.

[H Dean]

To the Honorable Mr. Dean,
May I call you Howard?

As long as you don't follow it with "the Duck".

As anyone who has experienced life's pleasures for more than a few decades will tell you, the word "Album" is a colloquial term for a "Phonographic Album"

So it is...at least for those who wish to broadcast their lack of education to the general public.

(not pornographic you degenerate)

Yikes, I already had by rubber gloves, motor oil and jack-in-the box ready to go.

Even someone as repressed and passive aggressive as, oh I don’t know, say yourself, should not require a complete definition when a single word might suffice.

It is true that a single word should suffice. In this case the word "album" should be replaced by the word "record". This, as any "well-educated" individual (such as yourself) should know, is the proper colloquial term for what you are referring.

One of the lessons we (Mad and I) are trying to instill in our star pupil is an economy of words. This implies a shared vocabulary with the reading public.

I do hope you teach him the importance of word economics. Of course, it helps to have the right word or the economy breaks down and turns into Mexico.

While you may be technically correct, in an anally retentive kind of way, I would no more insist upon the words phonographic album than I would have need to say 'motion picture show' for a movie or 'foppish dithering dilettante' for a certain literary critic of our mutual acquaintance.

Are you asking me out for drinks?

I do hope this clarifies our misunderstanding.

You had me at "foppish".

Most respectfully yours
Lews.

Stop looking at me like that...it makes me shy.

[Mad Lews]

It is true that a single word should suffice. In this case the word "album" should be replaced by the word "record". This, as any "well-educated" individual (such as yourself) should know, is the proper colloquial term for what you are referring.

.

Not to belabor the point Howard,

The single word 'record' in this case is much less specific than album. Some of our esteemed guests would quite naturally assume we were discussing your rather extensive dealings with the local constabulary. Others might think in terms of alleged earning, accusations of paternity , medical notations, chain of evidence etc.

I truely think Album sends their minds in the proper direction and record might confuse the issue.

If however you insist that we use both record and album then we'll have to deduct one more word from Rhabbi's assignment (1,449 )

It's your call Mr. Dean, I'M NOT GONNA BE THE HEAVY THIS TIME.

Yours

Mad

rose luv,
this minor disagreement on issues of style and substance would hardly measures up to a fight, let alone two Tom's dumped into a burlap sack and hung from the rafters.

For that to happen we'd need to be discussing something important like sports or sex or politics or sex or something like religion or sex.

How about them Sox Mr Dean...

tell me you understand the difference now.

meow
Lews

[Rhabbi]

Not to belabor the point Howard,

The single word 'record' in this case is much less specific than album. Some of our esteemed guests would quite naturally assume we were discussing your rather extensive dealings with the local constabulary. Others might think in terms of alleged earning, accusations of paternity , medical notations etc. chain of evidence etc.

I truely think Album sends their minds in the proper direction and record might confuse the issue.

If however you insist that we use both record and album then we'll have to deduct one more word from Rhabbi's assignment (1,449 )

It's your call Mr. Dean, I'M NOT GONNA BE THE HEAVY THIS TIME.

Yours

Mad

rose luv,
this minor disagreement on issues of style and substance would hardly measures up to a fight, let alone two Tom's dumped into a burlap sack and hung from the rafters.

For that to happen we'd need to be discussing something important like sports or sex or politics or sex or something like religion or sex.

How about them Sox Mr Dean...

tell me you understand the difference now.

meow
Lews

[Mad Lews]

The only important thing for you to note Rhabbi is that you now have only 1,449 words to use for your first assignment. This is not my fault. Blame the Dean of Students.
We are hoping to hear from you shortly because when the faculty is left with time on their hands they become quarrelsome. Best to face the music quickly and get it over with.
Mad & Lews

[H Dean]

Not to belabor the point Howard,

The single word 'record' in this case is much less specific than album. Some of our esteemed guests would quite naturally assume we were discussing your rather extensive dealings with the local constabulary. Others might think in terms of alleged earning, accusations of paternity , medical notations, chain of evidence etc.

It is odd for me to contemplate the notion that "record" would be more confusing than "album", which has many forms. Use of this word can bring to mind photographs of friends and family or other various collections of various items.

I do find it rather interesting that you would impugn my character when it is yours that is well-known for truly deviant methods. (Please note that I spelled "truly" correctly)

I truely think Album sends their minds in the proper direction and record might confuse the issue.

Considering your rather profound confusion and aptitude for clouding issues, I would suggest we allow our dear student the full 1500 words. I would also suggest that he be forced to eliminate the use of the words "album" or "record" so as to eliminate any chance at confusing you.

If however you insist that we use both record and album then we'll have to deduct one more word from Rhabbi's assignment (1,449 )

There you go again with your deviant methods. I rest my case.

It's your call Mr. Dean, I'M NOT GONNA BE THE HEAVY THIS TIME.

You ain't heavy. You're my brother.

Yours

Mad

I see a trend for blaming mad with these writings. You cannot fool me. I know it is Lews...up to your dirty tricks. SCOUNDREL, I SAY! SCOUNDREL!

rose luv,
this minor disagreement on issues of style and substance would hardly measures up to a fight, let alone two Tom's dumped into a burlap sack and hung from the rafters.

I speak on the topic of substance, which Lews will have none of. Mad, on the other hand, speaks of style; something he is truly lacking.

For that to happen we'd need to be discussing something important like sports or sex or politics or sex or something like religion or sex.

How about them Sox Mr Dean...

GO CUBS!

tell me you understand the difference now.

meow
Lews

Women will never understand men...we make too much sense.