Quote Originally Posted by jiggy View Post
I personally have a rule of NEVER taking on a sub that has had an abusive background. To me it is taking advantage of someone who really doen't know anything better and is susceptible to being seriously abused by so called doms for their own perverted purposes.
If you know of a sub in such a horrible situation - It is YOUR responsibilty help this sub.
I thought very carefully about whether or not to reply to this.

Whilst I appreciate the concern shown, I think your position is utterly arbitary and incorrect. The three years I spent in a collared relationship not only centered my life, brought a sense of self worth and confidence but also saved me from a never ending spiral of depression and self harm. In short, being a sub helped me a great deal recover my belief in humanity and rebuilt my trust in others and restart my sexual desires and needs. My Dom knew my past. Knew my tastes and needs and seperated the past drives into safe, sane play. I have a harder edge, which involves blood play...but I'll be damned if anyone in the community has the right to see me as being somehow "damaged" and therefore unapproachable.

It's upto you, as the Dom, to ensure you ARENT taking advantage of anyone whether they suffered abuse in their life or not. The abuse I suffered as a child has certainly steered my life a certain way, but it does not control it. Nor would I allow others to control me through it. And yes, despite the nature of my abuse I list force play, blood play, strangulation/breathplay and physical violence in general as being amongst my interests.

But I think you'll find subs who led happy-clappy all smiles and toys childhoods are also into the same thing.

I find this kind of stereotyping hugely insulting. I've chosen to post because I'm not ashamed of my past, I wish it hadnt happened every single fucking day, but without it...I would lose a huge a part of who I am as a person. And I like who I am.

So, with respect, rather than avoiding us, try taking on a sub that has been hurt in her past...perhaps you too can provide that individual with the life enhancing experience that will set her free