No no, I totally agree. I didn't mean to say that people shouldn't hide the real nature of their relationship while around non-BDSMers. I just think they shouldn't have to.
Well, I think there's a middle ground between "flagrant display" and "don't let anyone know we're D/s".i could even go another route and question whether choosing not to make a flagrant display of our personal dynamic is the same as hiding it, but it is late, and i need sleep.