I think it was my comment that caused her to ask that question, so let me weigh in with what I was thinking.

Mishka has hard limits that she is trying to get past because she wants to please me, and she knows that some of what I like is outside her limits. She knows this because I am always honest with my subs and freely share a limits questionnaire.

Her desire to get past these limits is something that I am happy to see because she is growing as a sub/slave, but I am taking it as slow as possible. She wants me to go faster, but I know that if we are to succeed at this it must be a process. This sometimes causes her some confusion, but she knows that ultimately I am looking out for her.

I will push at those limits because she has expressed a desire to grow past them, and not simply because I want to. By the accepted definition of hard limits I am not sure that you could call her limits hard, but she did the first time we did the questionnaire.

As for just pushing a limit, that would depend on the situation. My experience is that subs want to please, so I have been asked to push limits before, and probably will be again. Let me talk about how I go about pushing the limit.

First, as I am an advocate of communication in a D/s relationship, I always approach a limit I want to change with conversation. We openly and frankly discuss the limit in question to see if the desire to do it is there. This actually works both ways, and I have often ended up growing past my limits in order to experience something new. I do have the philosophy that it is impossible to know if you like something before you try it at least three times.

This does not mean that I will try everything, because some things fall into the category of being too dangerous. This is a judgment call on my part, but as I am involved in the decision I get to make it. Just as a sub gets to make it as far as she is concerned.

Safe. Sane. Consensual. I live by this creed. I never push a limit without the consensual part being in place, and even then I am cautious.