I have to say I agree with Rhabbi in a way... a lot of a "hard" limit/"soft" limit issue is based on experience.

After all... we have all seen new members here, who, in their enthusiasm state "I don't have any limits." Most of the time without realizing WHAT that truly means. After further discussion/exploration with them... yes they do have limits, and things they want to try but haven't, etc. That is also true in the reverse though, new members who are unsure of what this all mean, read a line of something, instantly think the worse about it (perhaps without fully understanding it) and make it a "hard" limit. When in reality is it something that just needs to be tested a bit.

So, yes, in my way of thinking experience does need to play into it. I mean, I clearly state when asked about my limits now which ones are no's for me (such as the tickling) and then my following statement is normally along the lines of "based on my limited experience I am unsure about A, B, C and am willing to try them but reserve the right to make them "hard" limits after that." That is completely different then the way I would have responded 8 years ago starting out...

I think in that same process though, Dom's have a tendency to "push" for answers. At times perhaps making a sub, especially an inexperienced one, feel it necessary to go one extreme or the other. Sometimes, it may be necessary for a Dom to accept an honest "I don't know." Which I think level of experience for a Dom with that answer isn't as important as the personality of the Dom. A Dom, with or without experience who hears "I don't know" can either take that as "Ok, let's explore safely" or push and demand an answer as is "their right." (Which in the second case I always question the Dom and the "Troll" factor.)

Just my 2 cents worth....