I am far from an expert and dont claim to know it all, but what I can share is this. It has been my experience that yes I am sometimes embarassed to tell my Master what it is I want. We have been together for 17 years, but there are just some things that embarass me. I feel that there are also times when I say, "no no" but mean yes, yes!!He knows me well enough to judge that for himself. I guess to sum it up...hard limits are just that ...limits NOT to be pushed no matter what!!Other things I wouldnt consider limits..not even soft limits. I have made it very clear what I DONT want..anything else is totally up to him.